Redundant Human Milk Machine

My dear friend Jenn has emailed a few questions asking about my Breastfeeding experiences. Am I weird to miss being a human milk machine?

I breastfed both Lola and Dora and whilst I did this through informed choice, I'd never say it was easy. There were many days and nights where I found myself stood willing myself to open the formula.

Then there's the issue of having huge breasts - yes, huge!! Pre-pregnancy I struggled to fill a B cup, whilst breastfeeding a DD was snug. Mr M loved them - obviously - I hated them! What use were they other than as a means of feeding my child? They certainly didn't improve our (infrequent) sex life - every time he went near them he ended up covered in milk, hhhmmm built in defence system?

I don't miss the constant wet patches that developed whenever I heard the girls (or any child) crying, I don't miss wearing black to hide the aforementioned wet patches, but which would show every snail trail from the girls wiping their nose or drooling on me. I don't miss getting confused between my bra's and the new garden hammock (yes they were THAT big).

I do miss the closeness that I would feel every time I fed the girls. I do miss the eye contact that we shared. I do miss being the only person who could sooth the girls (OK, not so much when it was the middle of the night). I do miss being able to squirt my husband in the most inappropriate situations (I know, but I still find it funny).
I miss being a Human Milk Machine!