Anyone for chocolate?

I thought I'd Blogged about our dilemma with Cruella's Christmas present, but looking back it seems I cut her some slack - must have been having a good day!

Each and every year, we have bought Cruella a Christmas gift from the boys. We've always bought something nice and a lot of thought has usually gone into the gifts. When she hooked up with Randall and his two children we decided to buy them a shared 'family' gift from all of us. Again we have always bought a nice gift and for the past couple of years they have bought us something - just a token gift for all of us, but it was something.

This year we decided that due to Cruella's behaviour, she was getting sweet F.A from us. However, we agreed that we would pay for a token gift for her from the boys. I took Charlie shopping and he chose a lovely triple box of fudge from Thorntons for Cruella and Randall and a small novelty chocolate gift each for Randalls children. I took great delight in wrapping them and writing the gift tags - which although said 'From Charlie and Woody' -she would know it was me who had bought them!

We did not expect anything in return as I'm sure she would have rather have poked her own eyes out than buy a gift for us!

To our surprise the boys arrived on Christmas eve with a tub of chocolates stuffed into a carrier bag, with a tag on saying to Mr M, Mrs M, Lola and Dora. Mr M and I were very surprised, but in the spirit of Christmas we thanked the boys and put the chocolates to one side.


Fast forward to today. I decided it was about time I had a sort out and had discussed taking our unopened tubs and boxes of chocolates to the girls' nursery. We have 3 large unopened boxes - including the one from Cruella.

So as I sort them out I look at the tub from Cruella and something twigs. The seal doesn't look quite right and on closer inspection I can see that she has used selotape and a piece of red paper (to look like the seal) to close the tub. As I took the selotape off, the lid lifted off and inside the tub mixed in with the chocolates, were loads of wrappers!

Can you believe it - she had no intention of buying Mr M anything from the boys and was obviously shamed into sealing up a half eaten tub of chocolates for them to give to us at the last minute.

Rather than feeling angry and cheated, the fudge set we bought was lovely and the boys told us that she ate nearly all of it in one go - wide load coming through, I have laughed so much this morning and Lola and Dora have had a field day with the remaining chocolates.

My Mother letter

Dear Mother,

As a young, ambitious and selfish woman I never wanted to put anyone before myself. I never wanted to have to share or compromise. I never wanted to have to plan or give up being spontaneous. Quite frankly I never wanted to be a mother.
At 23 my 1st marriage ended and some months later I met my now husband. He came as a package with two small boys (4,2) and an ex-wife who is the worst mother I have had the misfortune to meet.
Suddenly, all of the things I'd never wanted where there on a plate - for me to take or tip away. I chose to take them.
As the days turned into weeks, then months, then years I realised that being a mother meant all and none of the things that I feared. We had the boys live with us 50% of the time and for 50% of my time I was a great mum, for the other 50% I was still young, ambitious and selfish. Not ideal, but it worked.

In 2003 we started trying for a baby to extend our family and after several miscarriages and the heartache that no woman should have to endure I finally carried a baby full term. Although I would never chose to go through the pain of trying to concieve and infertility, I can honestly say it did make me realise just how much I wanted to have a child and be a mother. I also made some amazing friends along the way, who still support me in my journey being a mother!

In 2005 I gave birth to my eldest daughter, thinking I was prepared for what lay ahead - I couldn't have been more wrong. Why I thought being a 50% mum would prepare me for being a 100% mum I will never know! The first few months were tough, I'm not afraid to say that I struggled - often - but we got through it, together. As my daughter grew and developed into her own little self I began to see what being a mother is all about. In 2007 I gave birth to my second daughter and things were so much better this time round. I didn't expect it all to be rosy and I was prepared for the pitfalls!!

In the early days I thought that being a step-mum really didn't prepare me for being a mum. People had always told me that I may have loved the boys, but when I had my own children I would love them more. Honestly? Yes, having the girls did change things, I do feel differently towards the boys. But do I love them any less? Not a chance!
Having the girls made me realise just how precious a gift I'd been given in all four of my children.
It also made me realise that being a mother has nothing to do with the act of giving birth, it's what you do when you are with the children that matters. It's how you support them in becoming themselves, it's how you teach them about whats right and wrong, it's how you influence their morals and values. For me being a mother is about giving a piece of me to each child. It's about picking up the pieces when it all goes wrong, then showing them the right way, it's about remembering that each day will pass and you will never get the chance to have it back.I feel blessed to be called a mother and I am sure you do too.

Love,
Mrs M