Resolutions update

Remember this?

Just thought I'd update you on my progress so far:

I started 2009 determined not to buy anything that I didn't need and not to replace anything that wasn't broken. I've now come to the conclusion that in making these resolutions I have Jinxed myself.
So far I have had to replace the boys' beds (a full post in itself), the washing machine, Iron, TV and just this morning the dishwasher went capoot! rather than being quids in, I'm now completely brassic and waiting (not so) patiently for pay day, hoping and praying that nothing else breaks between now and then.

The season has started - Minnie says so!

Minnie has officially declared open season on BM - so let the BM Bash 2009 begin. Not one to be rude, I feel I must partake in this sport so I'll load it and then I'll fire it!

So where do we begin? After the farce of Christmas (on Cruella's part) and the irresponsibility of New year (letting a 10yr old stay up and text Mr M at 02.40hrs) we had the feeling that 2009 was going to be one of those years!

Sunday 4th January 2009 - Cruella thrusts a tatty envelope at Mr M before storming into her car and pulling off at break neck speed. The contents of the envelope...... £25 and a signed authorisation for Charlie to go on a school residential trip for 3 days in June. What she had failed to tell Mr M was that she expected us to pay the other £25 (the deposit) and that it needed to be paid no later than the morning on the 5th - 12 hours away! If thats not enough she then expects.......wait for it...... us to pay half of the remaining £232 that is due in March. WTF? A three day school trip that costs £282 - oh did I forget to add that this is a camping trip no more than 60 miles from our home? So with no time for discussion and Charlie in tears - Cruella has had this letter since the begining of December and told him he could go - we pay the remaining £25 (obviously I changed the envelope).
What really freaks me off isn't so much the cost (ok, it is! When you consider all six of us are travelling to France for 9 days in August for £580 total!) it's the fact that she didn't even have the decency to pick up the phone and talk to Mr M. She is such a piece of work - she's fat, lazy and darn right rude - Thank goodness the boys take after me!

Resolutions.

So I've finally come up with several resolutions that I am determined to follow through 2009. After much thought and soul searching here's my list:-

* Not to buy anything that I don't need

* Not to replace anything that doesn't need replacing (there goes the new curtains!)

* Decide on a career pathway and make a 5 year plan (I've always just bimbled into jobs and promotions and have no idea where I want to be next week, never mind next year!)

* (After devising a career plan) Look for a job closer to home.

* Save at least 1/6 of my monthly wages (there goes the new curtains!)

* Continue with my free therapy (blogging)


So, I suppose there is nothing earth shattering in my resolution list, but to be honest most of my life is great - I guess I should add to my list:-

* Be thankful everyday for Mr M, the children, my family and our friends.

Second Guessing

I am sick of trying to second guess Cruella and the depth she will sink to to make life difficult for Mr & and I.
Mr M has had his papers issued to say that he will be deployed to Afghanistan in October 2009. Thinking we should get things in order (you just never know) we have been trying to second guess Cruella and her behaviour, not only when he tells her, but also when he has gone. My head and heart hurt and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this.
We have taken legal advice and basically we have several options:-

• File for a residence order which states Mr M and I to have 50% care. With this I would gain parental rights and responsibilities
• File for parental rights and responsibilities
• Do nothing and deal with any issues when (if) they arise

We initially thought the residence order would be the best option, but with a £5000 plus tag and no guarantees that Cruella wouldn't revoke it the minute Mr M leave the country.....

We then thought the parental rights and responsibilities was the way to go, but again with a £2500 tag and the bomb shell that follows I'm not so sure!

As it stands as soon as I accept parental rights and responsibilities I also accept financial responsibility for the boys until they are 18yrs. In itself this is nothing as I provide for them anyway...... but the minute Mr M leaves the country, Cruella could revoke contact and file for full maintenance from me. Also if Mr M were not to return or if we were to separate at a later date, Cruella can withhold contact from me but still file for full maintenance until the boys reach 18yrs and I would be 100% liable!

So do we carry on second guessing and trying to plan for all eventualities or do we just deal with the crap should it arise?

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH - Update.

So Mr M & I spoke with Charlie on his return from school today, to try to figure out what the hell Cruella is up to. He could offer the following:-

• Cruella crossed my signature out of the school/home log as the section clearly states 'Signature of Parent/Carer' and in her opinion I am neither. Charlie said that she had told him it would be ok for Mr M to sign, but under no circumstance should I sign. I should feedback any in put I have had to Mr M and he is to sign the log. Like that is going to happen. Whoops! After completing his Algebra homework tonight I signed his log in two places just to F*ck her off!! Numbers have no meaning to her unless they have £ signs in front of them so there is no fear she will be helping with maths!
• The boots were returned because I had bought them and she didn't need me to buy her children stuff. Hmm, I can pay her £37,000 debts, I can fund her £400 monthly Child maintenence, I can pay her car loan, I can buy the boys Christmas presents when she is too tight to, I can buy back Mr M's possessions that she has sold - but I can't buy Charlie some football boots?

Anyone else thinking that this piece of work is feeling threatened and trying to gain the control of the responsibility she has actively avoided for the last 8 years?

Business as usual then!

Way back when.......part 7

Catch up with this

So my heart ruled my head and Mr M moved back into our home the very next day. Cruella was not a happy bunny and moved heaven and earth to make life difficult for us. I had explicit cards mailed to me, vile text messages and letters that would have made the most liberal of people blush. However, Cruella is terrible at spelling and made the same mistakes on all of the 'annonymous' mail. She also made the same mistakes on the written demands for more money she sent us - Doh!!

The financial demands continued to the point where enough was enough and we reduced these to half of what Mr M was earning, however greed took over (can you see the pattern?) and our offer was not enough. She filed a claim with CSA and they awarded her Zilch, nothing, absolutely F*ck all!!

So finances sorted (we still provided everything the Charlie and Woody needed, just not with Cruella scraping off her share) we got on with our lives and the next few years were great.

Way back when....Part 3

If you've just stumbled upon my blog then you may want to check out this and this first.
Ok, all up to speed? Then I'll begin where I left off.
So we have moved into a derelict house, in the middle of winter with no heating, electrical appliances or furniture. We did have a toilet and (cold) running water so not much to complain about. We spent the first days and weeks just trying to get to know each other. We enjoyed romantic meals out (we had no choice as we had no cooker or fridge/freezer), I inducted him into the world of shopping - he needed clothes and essentials and he introduced me to.... (nudge, wink). We'd been work friends for a while, but had only shared one drunken kiss prior to living together - bizarre I know! Amazingly within those first few days I knew I had found my soul mate.
He was in contact with Cruella, who has quickly gotten over the shock that he had had enough of her games & upped and left her. Within 2 days of him leaving she had cleared out their home and the coal shed (beggars belief), sold or destroyed ALL of his belongings (hence the shopping trips) and had moved in with her parents.
He didn't get to see his boys for almost 3 weeks, and when Cruella finally did agree to let him see them it was a shock for us all. She met Him in the supermarket car park, handed over two very confused little boys (who were now 4 and 2) and a letter listing her demands:-

• He was to see the boys twice a week at her convenience
• He was to continue to pay the rent (£270 pcm) on the house for a further 3 months until the end of the lease
• He was to continue to pay the finance for his car (£220)- which she had and was keeping
• He was to pay all of their joint debt (Lord knows how much every month but the total was well over £37,000)
• He was to pay her £400 every month
• If he failed to agree to any of the above he would not get to see his boys.

So what did we do? We put the boys first and worked our buts off to meet her demands. We got to spend two days a week with the boys and I was introduced to the joys of being a mum. You can't put a price on that!

We continued to live in a derelict house, in the middle of winter, with no furniture or heating - but who cared?