Saturday, 6 August 2011

If the cap fits.....

I've always felt that I've got a good sense of right and wrong. I hate to see an injustice being done and I will always root for the underdog. It's the optimist in me. The glass is always half full. I always look for the best in people. I always see potential where other can't.

I think I am right - all of the time - because I usually am. I trust my instinct most of the time, when I don't I always wish I had.

However much like the line in *Dirty Dancing*, If I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong.

Life sometimes throws crap at us, when it first hits my reaction is usually to ignore it. I can take one hit. When it keeps coming I find I have a choice - I can curl into a ball and wait for the shit storm to end, or I can stand up and fight my way through it. I can do something about it.

The shit storm is heading my way, it's predicted, it's inevitable. My first instinct was to take one hit then protect myself, that was my plan - tried and tested. However my sense of right and wrong is just too great. I can't stand back and allow myself to be scrutinised in a way that leaves me vulnerable and exposed.

Have I done anything wrong? I honestly don't think I have.

Could I have done things better? Probably.

If I had the chance to go back in time and do things differently would I? You better believe I would!

So as it stands, my actions are going to be scrutinised, my professionalism is going to be in question. But actually, I'm OK with that. Sometimes we all need a wake-up call. We all need the blinkers removing from our eyes.

The saying goes - what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. The shit storm wont kill me, the stink may linger for a while, but I've a terrible sense of smell so who cares?

I know I'm not perfect, I may like to think I'm in control when quite clearly I am having my strings pulled, but you know what? It's really not important.

Events over the last 12 months have made me realise what is important. I'm not infallible and I'm not perfect, I'm 100% OK with that.

I need to stay true to myself, true to what I believe in.

Who's reading?