Saturday, 29 November 2008
What really touched me was when Charlie (in his lunch break at school) sent a message to Mr M yesterday asking him to wish Lola Happy Birthday. He is so thoughtful.
I thought about sharing a few memories with you, but to be honest I couldn't pick just a few. Then I thought I'd share her birth story with you, but I just can't find the folder where I saved it to! So instead I will just say:
Happy birthday Sweetheart - Mummy loves you more each day.
Thursday, 27 November 2008
The True Spirit of Sisters
Sisters can be sweet sometimes
and not so sweet other times.
They can be silly and fun
or serious and demanding....
They can be happy and easygoing
or a bit grumpy and hardheaded.
But whatever words you use
to describe sisters,
you can never really capture
their true spirit, because.....
A sister's true spirit
is found in her sensitive
and caring feelings that
are there when you need them.
That's just the way sisters are.
And, Sister, I hope
the next time you stop
and think of me,
you'll remember how much
I care about you
and know that we'll always
We'll always have each other.
Yes, I did cry!
- My husband and children
- My parents and sisters
- My friends - near and far
- My health (as poor as it has been, I'm more fortunate than some)
- My financial stability in such an unstable climate
- My compassion and tolerance of others
- Wine for when the above is not an option!
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
- Staying at home blogging
- On a beach, somewhere warm
- Playing with my children
- Spending time with Mr M
- Doing the ironing - ok perhaps not but it does beat going to work!
Monday, 24 November 2008
- Cruella crossed my signature out of the school/home log as the section clearly states 'Signature of Parent/Carer' and in her opinion I am neither. Charlie said that she had told him it would be ok for Mr M to sign, but under no circumstance should I sign. I should feedback any in put I have had to Mr M and he is to sign the log. Like that is going to happen. Whoops! After completing his Algebra homework tonight I signed his log in two places just to F*ck her off!! Numbers have no meaning to her unless they have £ signs in front of them so there is no fear she will be helping with maths!
- The boots were returned because I had bought them and she didn't need me to buy her children stuff. Hmm, I can pay her £37,000 debts, I can fund her £400 monthly Child maintenence, I can pay her car loan, I can buy the boys Christmas presents when she is too tight to, I can buy back Mr M's possessions that she has sold - but I can't buy Charlie some football boots?
Anyone else thinking that this piece of work is feeling threatened and trying to gain the control of the responsibility she has actively avoided for the last 8 years?
Business as usual then!
So Charlie and Woody arrived yesterday (whilst I was at work) and on my return this morning I was greeted with a pile of their stuff that needed sorting. Within said pile was the brand new boot bag, football boots, shin pads and socks I bought for Charlie last week- refresh yourself with this. So as they had left for school before I got home I have no idea what they are doing here - believe me when I say that I fear the worst in all situations relating to Cruella. I will update you all later!
Also within the pile of stuff was Charlie's school/home log. As it tends to be me that does his homework with him - lets face it complex fractions are beyond Cruella - I always sign his log on a Wednesday morning and date it. Can you believe that the F***ing Bitch has crossed my name out on every page and signed her own chicken scrawl - WTF?? I am so freaking angry right now, that if I had one ounce less of self control I would drive over and whoop her fat arse!
So your guess is as good as mine, what on earth is she playing at? One thing is for sure, I'm playing the long game and will continue to sign his log every week no matter what she does. I figure she is only making herself look stupid and putting Charlie in a potentially awkward position - what's he supposed to say when his tutor asks what it's all about? "Sorry Miss, it's just my Mum being a complete and utter T*at?
So if she wants a reaction she's not going to get one , I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
Saturday, 22 November 2008
I know that I need to maintain my anonymity, but feel detched when I refer to my family as him, her, she etc.
As a young, ambitious and selfish woman I never wanted to put anyone before myself. I never wanted to have to share or compromise. I never wanted to have to plan or give up being spontaneous. Quite frankly I never wanted to be a mother.
At 23 my 1st marriage ended and some months later I met my now husband. He came as a package with two small boys (4,2) and an ex-wife who is the worst mother I have had the misfortune to meet.
Suddenly, all of the things I'd never wanted where there on a plate - for me to take or tip away. I chose to take them.
As the days turned into weeks, then months, then years I realised that being a mother meant all and none of the things that I feared. We had the boys live with us 50% of the time and for 50% of my time I was a great mum, for the other 50% I was still young, ambitious and selfish. Not ideal, but it worked.
In 2003 we started trying for a baby to extend our family and after several miscarriages and the heartache that no woman should have to endure I finally carried a baby full term. Although I would never chose to go through the pain of trying to concieve and infertility, I can honestly say it did make me realise just how much I wanted to have a child and be a mother. I also made some amazing friends along the way, who still support me in my journey being a mother!
In 2005 I gave birth to my eldest daughter, thinking I was prepared for what lay ahead - I couldn't have been more wrong. Why I thought being a 50% mum would prepare me for being a 100% mum I will never know! The first few months were tough, I'm not afraid to say that I struggled - often - but we got through it, together. As my daughter grew and developed into her own little self I began to see what being a mother is all about. In 2007 I gave birth to my second daughter and things were so much better this time round. I didn't expect it all to be rosy and I was prepared for the pitfalls!!
In the early days I thought that being a step-mum really didn't prepare me for being a mum. People had always told me that I may have loved the boys, but when I had my own children I would love them more. Honestly? Yes, having the girls did change things, I do feel differently towards the boys. But do I love them any less? Not a chance!
Having the girls made me realise just how precious a gift I'd been given in all four of my children.
It also made me realise that being a mother has nothing to do with the act of giving birth, it's what you do when you are with the children that matters. It's how you support them in becoming themselves, it's how you teach them about whats right and wrong, it's how you influence their morals and values. For me being a mother is about giving a piece of me to each child. It's about picking up the pieces when it all goes wrong, then showing them the right way, it's about remembering that each day will pass and you will never get the chance to have it back.I feel blessed to be called a mother and I am sure you do too.
The guy (I want one of those) who has started this project, on Blogher, has to be the most romantic and insightful men I have ever stumbled across. He is taking the effort to put together such an amazing gift for his wife and wants mothers of every kind to write their letters, so he can present them as words of encouragement to his wife - man I could cry, he is too thoughtful.
I honestly think this could be huge and I'm sure if a good publisher gets a whif they will snap up the idea in a shot.
OK, off to write my letter.
I hope I've not lost anyone? So I really am dim, if you don't know I've changed the address, how would you be reading this post? Double DOH!!
Mrs M x
Friday, 21 November 2008
So, as we were shopping he turned to me and the conversation was as follows:
Him: What size are you looking for?
Me: Size 10 mate.
Him: Just a size 10?
Me: Yes, why would I buy another size?
Him: Oh, OK. It's just that Mum's (Cruella) a size 12, but sometimes she has to buy a 14 or 16 for comfort.
Laugh, lord I ran into that changing room quicker than a shot! Cruella has an arse the size of a small country and there is no way on this earth she could fit one cheek into a size 12!! Little man has no idea that he just made my day with his honest and innocent comment - out of the mouths of babes.....
- Grab the nearest book
Open to pg. 56
Find the fifth sentence
Post the text of the sentence on your blog with these instructions
Don’t dig for your favorite book, or the most intellectual one. It has to be the closest one.
So here's mine (it took a while finding a book with over 5 pages and with more than 2 words per page!!) This was taken from 'A treasury of Fairy Tales. A majical collection of timeless stories':-
' Then, his cruel wife had a terrible idea: "tomorrow at sunrise, we take Hansel and Gretel very deep into the enchanted forest and leave them there".
Hhhhmmmm, have had the very same thought many times!
I'm a bit gutted that I didn't 'think' to pick a book that just might mak me look a little intelligent, but I'm afraid that any book that would fit this is safely packed away and the shelves are littered with *Harry Potter* *Horrid Henry* and anything with princesses and fairies!
In the same spirit I have passed many items onto friends and they too have been grateful. Now that Dora has passed the 'baby' stage I have lots more stuff washed and packed up - many items are still in the original box:-
- Mama's and Papa's car seat - cost £150 and used for 4 months
- Bumbo seat - boxed as new
- Steam sterilizer - Boxed as new
- Annabel Karmel weaning kit - blended, ramekins, measuring spoons, pots all boxed as new
- NUK bottles and teats - unopened
- 2 hanging rails full of baby clothes - washed and like new
I know several young girls who are pregnant with girls and I have offered all of the above items and so much more - for free. Given the current financial climate, and I know that these girls are low earners, I'd have thought they would have snapped my hands off......... not a chance!! Neither of them want to have second hand stuff for their babies and would rather spend money they don't have to buy new!
You just can't help some people, I know it's nice to have new but in today's climate I'd be grabbing anything that was offered to me!
Thursday, 20 November 2008
We live in a rural location and are surrounded by fields, I accept we have the odd 'cute' field mouse in the garages, but in the house????
So in the height of comedy, I arm myself with a cardboard photograph tube and a very large cardboard box. After 1/2 an hour jumping on the sofa (armed) getting a pep talk (in between the uncontrollable laughter from him and my mum as he relays the situation and my squeels to her) from my dad (over the phone as he's an hours drive away). I get brave and eventuallly herd the said mouse into the huge box - which I guard (through the window after putting it outside) until my husband arrives home to set it free in the next field.
What if the little blighter has set a trail and comes back tonight?
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
He has football kit for school (which he uses on Wednesdays) and he has been using these boots and shin pads for his training sessions (Saturdays). When he arrives at ours - either Saturday lunch or Sunday evening - his kit bag always stinks, and I mean really stinks! His boots and pads are always soaking wet and placed back into his muddy boot bag along with the rest of his kit (ok, you get the smell?).
So this weekend I took him to buy new boots, socks, shin pads and boot bag. with the idea being that he uses one set for Wednesdays and one set for Saturdays - each can be washed properly and have time to dry out before being placed in the bag. I know it seems extravagant but when Cruella is leaving wet boots in a bag from Wednesday to Saturday........ then expects him to wear them (still wet) on Saturdays I draw the line.
So the long and short of it is he has two sets and there is no excuse for either set to stink. I explained this to him, telling him it's his responsibility to clean his kit and put them in the airing cupboard to dry. He took it all in and with such seriousness he asked:
'Should I tell mum not to spray them with febreeze now?'
It tuns out that she doesn't actually 'wash' anything. She knocks the mud off then drowns everything in febreeze.
I'm still laughing just thinking about her lazy fat arse!!
Lola and Dora had so much fun with this box - too funny! I wish I'd thought to film it when they first stated playing, Dora was hilarious, jumping up to shout boo - but she couldn't even see over the top of the box!!
Monday, 17 November 2008
Please say a prayer for Baby P and I hope that for the first time he is at peace. I would urge everyone reading this to please act on any concerns you may have, whether you think it's your business of not. Perhaps if friends, neighbours or family members had spoken out Baby P's life could have been very different.
So today Woody came home from school with a half full lunch bag (see the optimist in me there??). He had left his sandwiches and a small chocolate cake. This is the conversation that followed:
Me: Why have you left half of your lunch?
Him: I didn't fancy ham sandwiches again.
Me: Oh, picky are we? What's wrong with ham?
Him: Well, we have a lot of meat in our school lunch and I'm a bit bored of it.
Me (Snorting like a crazed bull): Some children have never tasted ham, let alone have it in such abundance they are bored of it! As for having it too often, last week you had Tuna on Monday, Roast beef on Tuesday and Turkey on Wednesday - so what's the problem with ham?
Him: Nothing, I just fancy a change.
Me: So what would you like instead? What do you have on Thursdays and Fridays when your Mum does your pack-up?
Him: Chocolate spread or cheese paste.
Me: So you'd rather have that than fresh meat and fish? Ok, so why didn't you eat the chocolate cake?
Him: It's unhealthy!
Me (making a lunge for the wine bottle): Your Dad will do your lunch tomorrow - talk to him about it!
Some days I feel like I just can't win. What really pissed me off was that he sat stuffing his face with poached egg on toast (which I had made) this morning at 07.00hrs, watched me make his sandwiches and he said nothing!!
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Yesterday I spent the day divided between A&E and the observation ward at the County Hospital. Lola headbutted me (accidentally) and I ended up in such a state!
With a very sore ( broken) nose, vomiting and a headache to rival all headaches, my husband decided I needed medical attention. After 3 hours in A&E the consultant decided that I needed close observations and a CT scan - WTF??
Thankfully after an injection (in my jacksie!) I stopped vomiting and the pain killers kicked in, I started to feel somewhere near ok. The CT scan showed that I do in fact have a brain and thankfully it looks normal - looks can be deceptive though!!!!
My mum, the Star, came into her own again yesterday. She collected the girls and has kept them at her house all yesterday, last night, all today and tonight - just to allow me to rest - God I have been blessed with the best mum ever!
Me - apart from nursing a headache and a bruised nose - I'm a okay!!
With Christmas approaching she has been dragging her heels and yet again trying to make it all about her - BIG mistake! Having avoided working for the past (forever) 8 years, she has to work this Christmas day. Again trying to dictate what will happen she told Mr M today what She wanted to happen etc etc (yep, he was bored too).
I love that man more each day, since I have taken a back step he has grown some Bo**ocks and now stands up to her. So as she stands there (fat ass wobbling) he turns to Charlie and Woody and asks if her plans are what they want too. Can you believe they totally blew her out!!!
Yee Haaa!!! The boys told her that they did not want to be messed about on Christmas day just to suit her and that she could make Christmas eve their Christmas day & they would be with us Christmas day until the 30th December!
Sounds like Cruell has pee'd off one too many of the men in my life - Man, I love all 3 of them and I'm so looking forward to Christmas.
So Kami - http://themurphy4.blogspot.com/ left me a comment saying she has a little something something for me in her blog.
I'd just like to thank Kami for her kind nomination & in accepting this award...
So, here are the rules to receiving this award:
1. You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous blogs in a post.
2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.
3. You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.
Instructions:On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them. When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well. To add the award to your post, simply right-click, save image, then "add image" it in your post as a picture so your winners can save it as well. To add it to your sidebar, add the "picture" gidget.Also, don't forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by emailing them or leaving a comment on their blog.
So, although I have so many blogs I read, I can only pick 5. My award goes to these five fabulous blogs:
My five addictions are:
1. Being a mother
2. Changing my hair style and colour
3. Checking my Blog
4. Checking the Blogs I read
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Growing up I didn't have much time for her, or a civil word to say to her - sorry mum. During my first marriage I didn't think she was good enough and found fault in everything she did - yet when it all came crashing down who do you think picked up the pieces and put me back together?
I can honestly she she is the best mum ever (despite pretending to have stopped smoking and sneaking the odd one here & there.... yes we know and pretend we don't so that you don't go back to smoking 20+ per day!)
She is always there for us, thinks nothing of driving the 1 hour to us just to make me a cup of tea and do my ironing (yes, she really does!).
When I had the Lola and Dora she would make the journey 3-4 times every week to do the washing & ironing and make dinner for us.
When I was unwell over the summer she would take the girls to let me rest up, she would go to appointments with me and she would look after all 6 of us for days on end when I couldn't get out of bed.
She will have the girls over night just to give us a night off and allow us a good nights sleep (yeh, right !!)
She will come over and take Charlie and Woody to school when I have to be at work early - an hour journey each way - with the girls - twice a day isn't much fun, but she never complains.
She has agreed to have the girls for the whole week so that my husband & I can go on holiday together for a week.
I know I probably sound really selfish and seem like I expect so much from her. But honestly, I don't know what I would do without her. If I'm half as good a mum as she is, I will be very proud.
To cut a (very) long story short lets just say they are two of the most selfish and self centred individuals that I know. They have seen my children twice in the last 14 months, despite both being retired an living about 10 minutes away. They wont come and visit unless I cook for them and wait on them hand and foot (With 4 children I now flatly refuse - not that they offer to come much) They have seen Dora twice since she was born and she is now 14months old.
They wouldn't come and visit last Christmas - the only time we have never drove to them as we didn't have a car big enough to carry all six of us after I swerved to miss a pigeon and damaged our people carrier on Christmas eve- whoops - the excuse being they didn't want to leave their house on Christmas day. Oh, so it ok for us to drag the kids away from their toys then to visit you?
They will not help out with babysitting at all - the one and only time we asked they agreed on the basis that I paid them the same £43 daily rate I pay for nursery - WTF?
So, they have earned the title of the outlaws, as they too rob you blind!!
Monday, 10 November 2008
So my heart ruled my head and Mr M moved back into our home the very next day. Cruella was not a happy bunny and moved heaven and earth to make life difficult for us. I had explicit cards mailed to me, vile text messages and letters that would have made the most liberal of people blush. However, Cruella is terrible at spelling and made the same mistakes on all of the 'annonymous' mail. She also made the same mistakes on the written demands for more money she sent us - Doh!!
The financial demands continued to the point where enough was enough and we reduced these to half of what Mr M was earning, however greed took over (can you see the pattern?) and our offer was not enough. She filed a claim with CSA and they awarded her Zilch, nothing, absolutely F*ck all!!
So finances sorted (we still provided everything the Charlie and Woody needed, just not with Cruella scraping off her share) we got on with our lives and the next few years were great.
On 2nd May 2009, Mr M and I will fly out to a small Greek Island for a week of R&R - no kids!!! My mum has agreed (good job as I'd already booked it - whoops!) to have Lola & Dora and Cruella will have to make arrangements for the Charlie and Woody, she dashes off here, there and everywhere so it makes a change for it to be us.
I'm so excited already. Wonder what Mr M's reaction will be when I tell him?
The kids won't miss out, we're taking them to France and EuroDisney in August 09.
Just for fun!
1. I was born on the same day as my big sister G - only five years later
2. I am a Gemini
3. I can play the bagpipes!!! (stop laughing)
4. I was born in Scotland (explains No 3?)
5. I dislike cats
6. I hate Marmite
7. I've never lived alone
8. I've never been unemployed
9. I've run the London marathon twice
10. I'm very impulsive
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
I breastfed both Lola and Dora and whilst I did this through informed choice, I'd never say it was easy. There were many days and nights where I found myself stood willing myself to open the formula.
Then there's the issue of having huge breasts - yes, huge!! Pre-pregnancy I struggled to fill a B cup, whilst breastfeeding a DD was snug. Mr M loved them - obviously - I hated them! What use were they other than as a means of feeding my child? They certainly didn't improve our (infrequent) sex life - every time he went near them he ended up covered in milk, hhhmmm built in defence system?
I don't miss the constant wet patches that developed whenever I heard the girls (or any child) crying, I don't miss wearing black to hide the aforementioned wet patches, but which would show every snail trail from the girls wiping their nose or drooling on me. I don't miss getting confused between my bra's and the new garden hammock (yes they were THAT big).
I do miss the closeness that I would feel every time I fed the girls. I do miss the eye contact that we shared. I do miss being the only person who could sooth the girls (OK, not so much when it was the middle of the night). I do miss being able to squirt my husband in the most inappropriate situations (I know, but I still find it funny).
I miss being a Human Milk Machine!