Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Would the real Mrs M Please Stand up? Part 10

It's been way too long, but if you want to catch up Link back to this.

So there was I, living with my parents. In my old room. Bliss!

I never missed a day at work throughout, it was my sanity saver. The one thing I was good at and besides, my best friends were there - why would I chose not to go?

Mr H gathered momentum as the good boy jilted. Even my parents bought into his pity party. I was the one painted as the bad guy. I was the one who had left him, who thought I was above my station. I was the one who must have been messing around. It was obviously all my fault.

I didn't say a thing - to anyone. I took the blame, I listened to the rumours, I put up with my parents siding with Mr H. put up with 'our' friends turning into 'his' friends. Why? Because I was free from him.
My heart broke when his family cut me off completely though, yet I still couldn't bring myself to tell them why I'd left. He was their son, brother, grandson, nephew, they didn't have to know about the bad things - who was I to tell them? Even when his father ridiculed me and openly accused me of having an affair with another woman (his drunken logic being that I couldn't possibly have chosen another man over his son), I still didn't tell anyone anything. His Mum (L)refusing all contact from me cut like a knife - I love L so much - and still I kept shtum!

From the July until the November I continued to live in the same small village as Mr H. I tolerated my parents inviting him for lunch, or out for drinks (they felt sorry for him and blamed me). I never saw him nor spoke to him. I just went to work then came home to the comfort of my bedroom.

At work I continued to go from strength to strength. I really blossomed into a confident young lady (I was only 24!). I saw Mr M every day at work and our friendship grew. He was having problems with Cruella - I listened, but never once did I share my opinion, not once did I hint that he deserved better. He was married - end of story, out of bounds!
I'd been asked out for several dates, but after a disaster with a prison officer (another tale for another day) I decided I quite liked being single!

Towards the end of November I began to feel stifled, my parents were beginning to question my motives for leaving Mr H - was it just a case of me thinking I was better than I actually was, had I tried to be a good wife, was I having an affair? (I think the fact that I'd been out socially once since leaving Mr H would have answered the last question). I started looking for somewhere to live and within days had fallen in love with a little two up two down. Nothing to look at - but it felt right.

I put an offer in on the house on 1st December. Mr H moved his 3rd Girlfriend into my old house on the 2nd. I still paid his mortgage. He still threatened to slit my throat if I stopped.

You can write your name in it

Lola is discovering the wonder of words. She's loving that she can write her name, copy words and even write words that we spell out to her (obviously these talents are from me!).

So, picture a four year old, walking around with a filofax (Mr M's old one that he never used) taking 'notes' at every opportunity. She's way too cute and very smart!

Smart to the point that she's worked out that you don't need a pencil and paper to write.........

.......as I was doing the house work the other morning she begged me not to 'duster' the television.
'Because the dust is good for writing your name Mummy'!

I really must clean up more. Or employ a housekeeper. Or buy more paper!


...............to being weekend parents?

Like a Disney film - 7pm every other Friday brings a magical transformation. The fairy dust settles and four become six. We spend the weekend running here, there and everywhere - and love it!
6pm on Sunday and the magic starts to fade. Mr M takes the boys back to Cruella (rushing so that the car doesn't turn into a pumpkin on his way home).

By 7pm every other Sunday six become four and we carry on regardless.

Whilst it's not easy going from full time, to half time, to no time, to very other weekend time - the boys seem pretty happy with the arrangement. This weekend they have been really relaxed and even stayed until this evening (it's school holidays). Mr M and I think that they have realised that we just want to spend some time with them. SIMPLE. No games, no gimmicks. They get no pressures from us and I think that is exactly what they need.

On the flip side - Lola is not dealing with this very well at all. She is so naughty whilst the boys are here, the minute they are in the car on the way to Cruella's she's fine. She just doesn't get it yet. I suppose it's a struggle for her, she spend so much time as the 'eldest child' then has to drop back into line when Charlie takes up this role - it must be confusing?

Mr M has found it hard too. We hardly know the boys anymore however, this weekend they have really started to open up again - I'm hopeful!

Oh and Cruella is on a diet - I correctly predicted that she is focused on squeezing her fat backside into a tiny wedding dress - a green one at that! Some girls have no taste!

Who's reading?