Curve balls

Life continues to throw curve balls - some I can catch and pitch right back, some just fly right past and are insignificant, some hit me square on, they are the ones I don't see coming.

17 years ago one of those curve balls hit me, it hit me so damn hard that it left bruises. Bruises that I've covered up. Hidden. Forgotten about.

How was to know that curve balls have boomerang qualities. How could I have predicted that the same curve ball would return some 17 years later. How was I to know that the person throwing it would be someone I adored?

How was I to know that - after 17 years and all that I have experienced - that curve ball wouldn't affect me in the same way?

It's hard to admit that life has changed you, that experiences have made you harder. It's heartbreaking to know that feelings and emotions you once embraced, you now fear and avoid.

The reality of being a grown up, of being a parent, of being someone who has been hurt.

So if I say I'm wary of the curve balls, it doesn't mean I fear them. I just need to accept them and learn how to deal with them.