Pass me the brown paper bag

I would like to issue a full apology to anyone who has had to live, work or come into contact with me in the last 5 days.

I'm sorry that i've been totally and utterly vile. I'm sorry that I am so bloated I look 5 months pregnant. I'm sorry that I have so many spots, you could play dot-to-dot. I'm sorry my hair has been so greasy that I could cook a full fry up on it.

Why? Because I have been suffering from the worst PMT symptoms I have ever had and I don't get PMT - ever!
So, just pass me the brown paper bag - I'll pop it over my head and keep it there until it's all over!