Friday, 26 September 2008

My need for free therapy

This week has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life. Cruella has loaded her weapon of choice - the poison tongue - and has come out firing on automatic. Ordinarily I would be able to stand there & take her abuse, safe in the knowledge that my husband and children love and respect me. This time it was different, this time she got a full blown heart shot, this time I stayed down & couldn't get back up.

Over the last 8 years Cruella has shown little or no interest in her children (other than as a source of income, but we'll get to that at some point), she has been 'happy' for me to take on the 'mother' role. This week she has reclaimed what is rightfully hers. You see, Cruella carried the boys for 9 months and then gave birth to them - this leaves her holding the Ace card and boy has she decided to play it!
Cruella has for the 1st time taken legal advice (or so she says - she's probably been watching *Jeremy Kyle*) and now has it stuck in her head that she has parental rights (yes it's taken her 8 years to realise this) and I have nothing. I'll repeat that, I have no rights at all. She now wants to be more involved in the boys' lives, she wants to make the decisions and yes you guessed it, she wants me out!
So as it stands.... I have been warned - by the psycho bitch from hell with a very vicious tongue - that I am to have no contact with either boys' school or have any input into their homework. She is changing their GP and I am not to have any contact with the new surgery. From now on I am only to baby sit the boys when He is not in the house, I am not to discipline them or praise them. I am not to hold them when they are unwell or upset or endear myself to them in any way. I am to distance myself from them so that she can have a fair shot at being their mum, without my influence. After all, she is their mother and I am nothing!

With a broken heart I look forward to the boys arriving on Sunday. I have no idea what, if anything, she will have told the boys, but if she stays true to form I can guess that it won't be anything an 11 or 10 year old can repeat. What am I going to do... how can I bow down to her demands? I can't suddenly stop being who I am, I can't suddenly stop loving who I love. Just like she can't stop being a selfish and destructive individual - I can't stop being a mum to MY boys.

If Cruella wanted a fight then she's going to get one. I'm going to nurse my broken heart with a few bottles of wine, quality time with my husband and daughters, then we are going to load our weapon of choice and let her have both barrels. We are going to do the only thing we know we can do. We are going to protect our beautiful children from her ugliness and spend a huge amount on the best legal team we can get. I might not have any rights at the moment, but we are going to change that, we are going to apply for me to have full parental rights for both boys. We know Cruella will oppose this, but the advice we have been given is that she will be wasting her time. If she didn't want me in their lives, she should not have dumped them on my door step with no more than the clothes they stood up in!

Bring it on Bitch!


dearjenn said...

My dearest Yvonne- Cruella may believe that she can simply step back into your boys lives and everything will work out in her favor but children are highly intuitive. Although it will be confusing for them at first they will eventually see straight through her- and no amount of her poison spreading will ever diminish their love for you. You have been there for them when she hasn't. You have provided them structure that they have not received from her, and in the long run children know true love. They will know yours is the real deal.

I'm sorry that she has the one silver bullet that can go straight to your heart. You have everything and she is just a jealous, vindictive person. Don't bow down to her. Love your boys regardless of what she thinks she can tell you to do. Be there for your boys. It will be the best thing for them as she tries to upstage their entire life.

And remember, your boys love you first and foremost. Anyone can carry a child, not everyone can mother them. You ARE their mother.

Love, Jenn

Anonymous said...

Dear Yvonne,
Jenn is absolutely right! Having worked with children I can assure you, the boys are clued into exactly how much you love them, and that you are their source of comfort and stability.

This horrid woman is quite simply mean-spirited and pitifully lonely. She has got to be riddled with jealousy - after all you have it ALL. What does she have apart from the misery that drives her self centered actions? You have a wonderful husband and four beautiful children.

Get that legal team together and kick her sorry behind. I'll pop out #3 and head on over with some muscle too ;-)

Have faith dear friend - you are their mother, and a mighty fine one at that!
Love, Lee

Melissa said...

Oh Yvonne...I think Jenn and Lee put it so well. You ARE their mother and they know it.

I'll be praying and thinking of you often! Hoping this all can resolve itself soon.


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