Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Would the real Mrs M please stand up? Part 8

You know the drill, if you need a refresher check this out.

I stood there, in our small kitchen with my chin touching the floor and heart beating so fast it sounded like a drum roll. Mr H was doing his best goldfish impression.

I'd said it, I'd actually spoken those words - out loud, with Mr H in the same room. His reaction made it clear that he'd heard me.
I'd made my decision, now I had to act on it. Yet I couldn't move, I don't know if it was fear or excitement that I was feeling, but boy were my feet glued to the spot. However, this changed the moment Mr H actually began to process what I had said - I calculated I had approximately 10 minutes to get the hell out of that house. Suddenly I had no problem moving or thinking!

Whilst Mr H did the little boy lost routine, I ran upstairs and threw my clothes into a suitcase. I packed another suitcase with books and personal items and disconnected my computer. I loaded it all into the car and drove the half mile to my parents' house. I parked the car and walked inside.

I sat there for 3 hours and said nothing about what had happened. I made small talk, chit chat, I talked an absolute load of crap, anything to avoid thinking or talking about what I had done.
You see, I had failed and I couldn't bring myself to tell my parents. I couldn't summons the courage to admit what had been happening.
As my dad was walking out of the front door (to go to the pub with Mr H) I called him back. I asked if I could stay the night, told him I'd left Mr H. I didn't offer any more information and he didn't ask any more questions. He took my car keys and emptied my car.

So there I was - a car, two suitcases and a computer.
Back in my old bedroom, with my mum and dad. No-one asking difficult questions, no-one telling me to go back to Mr H.

I slept so well that night. I'd finally done it, I'd left Mr H. I was stronger than I had ever thought I could possibly be. I'd made my choice and there was no going back.


Mimi said...

Wow honey. I learn so much more about you every single post. You are such a strong and wonderful woman. I remember meeting my hubby. We were both married to someone else so we were off limits too. But I do believe knowing eachother helped push us to do the inevitable (leaving our spouses) Something that should of happened long before we knew eachother. I think that happiness matters most! Good for you. I can't wait to hear the next step!


Minnie said...

This is me cheering you on, years later and miles away!

TripleKTrouble said...

Wow! That must have been so hard...you are one strong woman!

Crys said...

There is so much power in the choices that we make, but it's even more rewarding when we can actually feel that strength. Good for you! I can't wait for the next entry.

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