Adjusting.........

...............to being weekend parents?

Like a Disney film - 7pm every other Friday brings a magical transformation. The fairy dust settles and four become six. We spend the weekend running here, there and everywhere - and love it!
6pm on Sunday and the magic starts to fade. Mr M takes the boys back to Cruella (rushing so that the car doesn't turn into a pumpkin on his way home).

By 7pm every other Sunday six become four and we carry on regardless.


Whilst it's not easy going from full time, to half time, to no time, to very other weekend time - the boys seem pretty happy with the arrangement. This weekend they have been really relaxed and even stayed until this evening (it's school holidays). Mr M and I think that they have realised that we just want to spend some time with them. SIMPLE. No games, no gimmicks. They get no pressures from us and I think that is exactly what they need.


On the flip side - Lola is not dealing with this very well at all. She is so naughty whilst the boys are here, the minute they are in the car on the way to Cruella's she's fine. She just doesn't get it yet. I suppose it's a struggle for her, she spend so much time as the 'eldest child' then has to drop back into line when Charlie takes up this role - it must be confusing?

Mr M has found it hard too. We hardly know the boys anymore however, this weekend they have really started to open up again - I'm hopeful!


Oh and Cruella is on a diet - I correctly predicted that she is focused on squeezing her fat backside into a tiny wedding dress - a green one at that! Some girls have no taste!

Remember Cruella?

It's been ages since I've had to do a Cruella post. She's been pretty quiet lately, which although I welcome the peace, is not usually a good sign.

Today Mr M told her about his deployment to Afghanistan. He wanted her to know so that they could agree on when he would tell the boys. He also didn't want to risk her finding out from someone else - highly possible as they both work at the same hospital.

Her reaction.....

She called him a selfish *****, told him that he had no right going to serve Queen and Country. She continued her rant, stating that the boys would be angry with Mr M and would find it very hard to forgive him for abandoning them. WTF? Her closing statement was that the boys would not want to come to our house at all if Mr M wasn't there.

Talk about deluded. Does she not realise that Mr M should be commended for being a volunteer, that without the likes of Mr M, our service men would be placed at greater risk. Does she not realise that the boys are terribly proud of Mr M and all that he has achieved whilst being a full-time soldier and a volunteer reservist? Does she forget that all of the other times that DH has been away the boys have always chosen to come here as normal?

Well, Cruella. I've got news for you. I am so very proud of my husband, I think he is being incredibly selfless and brave to volunteer to go into a war zone. I will give him my support, even though it breaks my heart to think of where he will be going. I also know that in supporting him, I am a better person than you - you were behind him leaving the army in the first place, you gave him an ultimatum - who's the selfish one?

As for the boys..... I'd love them to keep coming as normal when Mr M goes away. However, I have a life and commitments and will not be an unpaid childminder for you. If the boys choose (yes, it will be there choice) to still come here - there home - then they will be welcomed with love and affection. If they choose not to come, then they will be told that the girls and I will always be here for them.

You see, fuck face, this is not about you, although I'm sure you will spend your time between now and the 22nd September trying to think of ways to play the victim - yet again.

Bring it on. Mr M and I are happy and secure in our relationship. We support each other 100% and we love all 4 of the kids. Nothing you can do or say will ever change that, so if you want to waste your energy trying - go ahead, make my day!!

Long story short.....

We've always bought Cruella a Mothers day card and gift with the boys, until Randall complained that we didn't spend enough on her gift last year. So this year we've left it up to him to do.

Also in the past when Mothers Day has fallen on 'our' Sunday, we've always given Cruella the option of keeping the boys until after Lunch on Sunday (instead of us picking them up on the Saturday).This year I asked the boys what they wanted to do & they said they wanted to come here on the Saturday as normal!
So today I picked them up at 1pm and when I asked what they had been doing they said 'We had to go and get some flowers and a card for mum from the Spar shop'. (Classy!!)

We no sooner get home than Charlie gets a txt message from Cruella. Now all the kids were out the back when the message came through and when I saw the 'Text message from mum' I just couldn't resist.
My hands were taken over by this urge to read the message, I had no control over them - honest!
So Cruella was texting to say 'Thankyou for the lovely and unusual flowers, they must have been so expensive - arent I lucky to have two wonderful boys who love me, their mum, so much'

Expensive and unusual - from the Spar shop, really?
Boys who love you so very much? hhmmm, that's why they wanted to come here and not spend mothers day with you then?

So after vomiting and then laughing so much I nearly pee'd myself, I had no option but to delete the message.
Now, I know I shouldn't have read the message and I know I shouldn't have deleted it - but do I feel bad?
Not freaking likely!

Young boys stink!

I know its a wide statement, but its true -young boys stink!

Woody had a friend round today and with all 3 boys in the bedroom I needed a respirator just to enter. Now its a known fact that farts just ooze from Charlie, if there is ever a stray smell - its one of Charlies to be sure (and he probably doesn't realise its his!!)
But today, well - I'd put a years salary on it that they'd all been sitting there squeezing out farts to see who could be the most putrid without actually following through and to top it all off............................

...................................They were sat on the pile of clothes that I'd washed, ironed an laid on their bed last night - so now they stink too and are back in the laundry basket.

I usually find farting highly amusing, but today was one fart too many for this mummy!!

Forgotten something boys?

Selfish little buggers!

After spending a couple of days in London, doing exactly what the boys wanted to do - and fitting in a bit of shopping ;) - we the had a day out with all 4 kids at the aquarium. Again the boys got to do what they wanted to do and we dropped them off with Cruella at 5pm tonight - yes, we ran the gauntlet and took them back a day late (another story for another day).

So we dropped them off - fed, watered, new clothes, new trainers, new gadgets and souvenirs and guess what?

Not a thank you from either of them - I could have wrung their little necks, the selfish little buggers! We have given up precious time with the girls, to spend quality time with the boys. We have bought them exactly what they wanted and they just took, took, took.

I love my boys, but god do they P me off sometimes!

Second Guessing

I am sick of trying to second guess Cruella and the depth she will sink to to make life difficult for Mr & and I.
Mr M has had his papers issued to say that he will be deployed to Afghanistan in October 2009. Thinking we should get things in order (you just never know) we have been trying to second guess Cruella and her behaviour, not only when he tells her, but also when he has gone. My head and heart hurt and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this.
We have taken legal advice and basically we have several options:-

• File for a residence order which states Mr M and I to have 50% care. With this I would gain parental rights and responsibilities
• File for parental rights and responsibilities
• Do nothing and deal with any issues when (if) they arise

We initially thought the residence order would be the best option, but with a £5000 plus tag and no guarantees that Cruella wouldn't revoke it the minute Mr M leave the country.....

We then thought the parental rights and responsibilities was the way to go, but again with a £2500 tag and the bomb shell that follows I'm not so sure!

As it stands as soon as I accept parental rights and responsibilities I also accept financial responsibility for the boys until they are 18yrs. In itself this is nothing as I provide for them anyway...... but the minute Mr M leaves the country, Cruella could revoke contact and file for full maintenance from me. Also if Mr M were not to return or if we were to separate at a later date, Cruella can withhold contact from me but still file for full maintenance until the boys reach 18yrs and I would be 100% liable!

So do we carry on second guessing and trying to plan for all eventualities or do we just deal with the crap should it arise?

Karma!

So the Karma bus has well and truly struck Cruella's fat arse!

With Christmas approaching she has been dragging her heels and yet again trying to make it all about her - BIG mistake! Having avoided working for the past (forever) 8 years, she has to work this Christmas day. Again trying to dictate what will happen she told Mr M today what She wanted to happen etc etc (yep, he was bored too).
I love that man more each day, since I have taken a back step he has grown some Bo**ocks and now stands up to her. So as she stands there (fat ass wobbling) he turns to Charlie and Woody and asks if her plans are what they want too. Can you believe they totally blew her out!!!
Yee Haaa!!! The boys told her that they did not want to be messed about on Christmas day just to suit her and that she could make Christmas eve their Christmas day & they would be with us Christmas day until the 30th December!

Sounds like Cruell has pee'd off one too many of the men in my life - Man, I love all 3 of them and I'm so looking forward to Christmas.

Beep, Beep!!!!!

I just can't help myself.

Last night Charlie asked me to look at his Religious Education homework. He'd been given 2 weeks to complete the work and had managed to produce the grand total of 1 typed A4 page!
He had asked his Mum (Cruella) to check and she'd said it was fine, but he wanted to run it by me - 'as I'm good at this kind of thing' (and she's not?!!)

Not wanting to pee on his bonfire, I tell him the work he's done is really good, but I think we should add to it. So tonight we have spent a couple of hours researching the *Star of David* and Charlie has produced a fantastice piece of work, complete with reference pages and it is thermal binded (yes, I know he will be the envy of his class mates!). It is all his work, with just guidance and support from me.

I just can't help myself can I? How on earth can I take a back seat and allow him to hand in a scrappy A4 sheet when I know he is capable of so much more? More importantly, how can Cruella honestly tell him that he has done enough? This is where it is clear that we have completely different standards - and I'm not going to compromise mine!

Way back when....Part 3

If you've just stumbled upon my blog then you may want to check out this and this first.
Ok, all up to speed? Then I'll begin where I left off.
So we have moved into a derelict house, in the middle of winter with no heating, electrical appliances or furniture. We did have a toilet and (cold) running water so not much to complain about. We spent the first days and weeks just trying to get to know each other. We enjoyed romantic meals out (we had no choice as we had no cooker or fridge/freezer), I inducted him into the world of shopping - he needed clothes and essentials and he introduced me to.... (nudge, wink). We'd been work friends for a while, but had only shared one drunken kiss prior to living together - bizarre I know! Amazingly within those first few days I knew I had found my soul mate.
He was in contact with Cruella, who has quickly gotten over the shock that he had had enough of her games & upped and left her. Within 2 days of him leaving she had cleared out their home and the coal shed (beggars belief), sold or destroyed ALL of his belongings (hence the shopping trips) and had moved in with her parents.
He didn't get to see his boys for almost 3 weeks, and when Cruella finally did agree to let him see them it was a shock for us all. She met Him in the supermarket car park, handed over two very confused little boys (who were now 4 and 2) and a letter listing her demands:-

• He was to see the boys twice a week at her convenience
• He was to continue to pay the rent (£270 pcm) on the house for a further 3 months until the end of the lease
• He was to continue to pay the finance for his car (£220)- which she had and was keeping
• He was to pay all of their joint debt (Lord knows how much every month but the total was well over £37,000)
• He was to pay her £400 every month
• If he failed to agree to any of the above he would not get to see his boys.

So what did we do? We put the boys first and worked our buts off to meet her demands. We got to spend two days a week with the boys and I was introduced to the joys of being a mum. You can't put a price on that!

We continued to live in a derelict house, in the middle of winter, with no furniture or heating - but who cared?