The boys arrived on our 'Boxing day', opened their gifts and then announced that they'd had a good day 'shopping' with their grandparents the day before WTF???? They blew us and our Christmas out for a day at the shops with their grandparents - to say I was angry would be an understatement - I was furious and rightly or wrongly told them both exactly what I thought. Cruella had gone away for the weekend with Randall and had made plans for the boys to go to her parents (another post in itself!)
I then told them that if it were up to me then there would be no way on this earth that they would be coming on holiday with us the next day.
2 lead balloons.........
We got through 'boxing day' and we did go on holiday they next morning - all 6 of us.
We had 4 days away and in all honesty it was far from enjoyable. Our family dynamics have changed so drastically - it was hard for all of us. The boys were so far removed from the boys that we all knew and loved - they were selfish, rude and arrogant. Mr M really had his eyes opened.
We arrived home and the first question from Charlie was 'When are you taking us back to mums?' Mr M and I had briefly discussed this scenario and we took them back that morning. We came home and licked our wounds.
Four weeks passed before we heard from them again, despite numerous calls, texts and emails. Surprisingly *insert sarcasm* when Mr M left a voice mail asking if they wanted to come to London with us they called us straight back - I never saw that one coming!
We all went to London and despite things being a bit strange on the train we had a lovely time. The boys started to ask a few questions about Mr M and why he had had to go to Afghanistan, they also got to hear a little about what he had faced whilst he had been over there - you could see the penny dropping - literally.
We arrived home and Mr M & I had decided that we had to sort the situation out properly - I don't think my liver could have taken much more!
So the long and short of it................
- Cruella has done a really good job of making the boys hate Mr M for going away - they thought he'd had a choice in it all and had chosen to 'abandon' them
- The boys enjoy the freedom that they have at Cruella's and don't want to go back to having 'rules' at our house
- Charlie has hit his teenage years full force and is moody as hell.
- Woody can't understand why things can't just be the way they were?
- Cruella did not allow the boys to come whilst Mr M was away because legally I'm nothing to do with the boys (cheers kids!)
- Cruella has told the boys that we no longer have 50-50 care and that's her decision and nothing is going to change that (place your bets...)
- Cruella does not give a flying F*** about what the boys want.
So we asked the boys what they wanted, we told them to forget about what Cruella wants and not to worry about what they think we might want and here it is:
- To not have to stay at ours on a school night - they don't like to hour each way commute and it makes it difficult for homework etc
- Not to have so many rules at our house
- To come and stay with us every other weekend from Friday to Monday
- To spend half of the school holidays with us
- To spend alternate Christmas and Birthdays with us
- To spend the girls' birthdays with us
- To spend Fathers day with us
What we agreed:-
- The house rules stay - no negotiation - how hard is it to make your bed, take your clothes to the laundry and shower every day?
- No school runs - I'm happy with this as it was four hours every day (3 days a week) that we were sat in the car doing school runs. Also this would have had to have changed when Lola starts school in September anyway.
- Every other weekend here - Hopefully minus the school runs this will mean we get to spend some quality time with them both?
- Alternate Christmas's with us
- Alternate birthdays with us
- Fathers day with us
- Half the school holidays with us.
Cruella has other ideas! She went absolutely crazy at the boys when they told her what they wanted and she was straight on the phone to Mr M - who may I add has really grown a pair since he's been away and firmly told her where to get off!
So the plan is for the boys to come after school this Friday - I wait with baited breath.
My prediction for Cruella involves a letter, child support and a demand for mega bucks! Unfortunately, I'm not often wrong with my Cruella predictions!