Karma?

I've typed and deleted the bones of this post many times over recent months, the title was different and the focus of the content different - so how can it be the same post?It's really rambled, but stay with me on this one.

Today the Karma bus tootled into town and knocked Cruella flat on her big backside - so this post now has a happy(ok, smug) ending.



To put you in the picture...................



Mr M returned from Afghanistan earlier this year, but my husband never came home. His experience over there has changed him drastically and this is something we've both struggled with.

In July of this year Mr M was diagnosed with Combat Stress (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), thankfully we have an amazing GP who has referred him for specialist help and has precribed appropriately. Mr M is making progress through Counselling and medication.





My last post referred to the antics of Cruella, add them to the Combat Stress and you get the picture.

Remember this ?

So the date for Randall and Cruella to tie the knot was set for October of this year. It was all very hush hush and the boys had been well warned not to disclose any details to us. However, 2 weeks ago Cruella had the nerve to ask Mr M for a copy of their Divorce Certificate. Apparently she had destroyed hers (very grown up) and now needed to present it to the Registry Office before her and Randall can lodge their intent to marry.

So the good bits about Mr M's current condition - he's grown a huge pair of Bo***cks and is now very assertive. Something which Cruella soon discovered.

So Mr M's reply to her text message requesting the Divorce papers - nothing.

Mr M's reply to her getting Woody to ring Mr M asking for the Divorce Papers - 'Hi mate, it's great to speak to you, but to be honest if your Mum wants something she can ask me herself - it's not fair that she sould ak this of you. Anyway, what have you done at school today?'

Mr M's reply to her getting both boys to ask for the divorce papers last weekend -'boys, it's really not fair that your Mum should ask you two to do this. If your Mum wants to speak to me thenshe has my number and can call me. Anyway, how was Tennis this morning?'

Mr M's reply to Cruella when she finally rang him on Wednesday and told him she needed his divorce papers as she didn't know where her's were - ' you really should learn to look after your things better. Since I married Mrs M any papers relating to time that I spent with you have become obsolete and I'm not prepared to spend any of my time looking for them when you've been so careless with yours. If it were the other way around I know without a doubt that you would get great pleasure in withholding them from me.....'

The boys arrived today and the wedding came up in conversation. Apparently they have delayed it until next year as Cruella had had to apply to London to have her divorce papers re-issued and there has been a high financial cost for this, therefore the wedding has had to be delayed.

Does Mr M feel bad about this?

No freeking way - he has no idea where his divorce papers are and to be honest I think they were shredded after we got married (as our marriage made them defunct anyway).

However - I have no doubt that if he did have them he wouldn't give them to her and that makes me very proud of him. For the first time ever - Cruella does not get everything Cruella wants - and she's only herself to blame!

Toot, toot!!

Service resumes - but it's far from normal....

We had Christmas eve, Christmas day and Boxing day - it was amazing and wonderful and happy and sad all at the same time.
The boys arrived on our 'Boxing day', opened their gifts and then announced that they'd had a good day 'shopping' with their grandparents the day before WTF???? They blew us and our Christmas out for a day at the shops with their grandparents - to say I was angry would be an understatement - I was furious and rightly or wrongly told them both exactly what I thought. Cruella had gone away for the weekend with Randall and had made plans for the boys to go to her parents (another post in itself!)

Lead balloon.............

I then told them that if it were up to me then there would be no way on this earth that they would be coming on holiday with us the next day.

2 lead balloons.........

We got through 'boxing day' and we did go on holiday they next morning - all 6 of us.

We had 4 days away and in all honesty it was far from enjoyable. Our family dynamics have changed so drastically - it was hard for all of us. The boys were so far removed from the boys that we all knew and loved - they were selfish, rude and arrogant. Mr M really had his eyes opened.

We arrived home and the first question from Charlie was 'When are you taking us back to mums?' Mr M and I had briefly discussed this scenario and we took them back that morning. We came home and licked our wounds.

Four weeks passed before we heard from them again, despite numerous calls, texts and emails. Surprisingly *insert sarcasm* when Mr M left a voice mail asking if they wanted to come to London with us they called us straight back - I never saw that one coming!

We all went to London and despite things being a bit strange on the train we had a lovely time. The boys started to ask a few questions about Mr M and why he had had to go to Afghanistan, they also got to hear a little about what he had faced whilst he had been over there - you could see the penny dropping - literally.

We arrived home and Mr M & I had decided that we had to sort the situation out properly - I don't think my liver could have taken much more!

So the long and short of it................

• Cruella has done a really good job of making the boys hate Mr M for going away - they thought he'd had a choice in it all and had chosen to 'abandon' them
• The boys enjoy the freedom that they have at Cruella's and don't want to go back to having 'rules' at our house
• Charlie has hit his teenage years full force and is moody as hell.
• Woody can't understand why things can't just be the way they were?
• Cruella did not allow the boys to come whilst Mr M was away because legally I'm nothing to do with the boys (cheers kids!)
• Cruella has told the boys that we no longer have 50-50 care and that's her decision and nothing is going to change that (place your bets...)
• Cruella does not give a flying F*** about what the boys want.

So we asked the boys what they wanted, we told them to forget about what Cruella wants and not to worry about what they think we might want and here it is:

• To not have to stay at ours on a school night - they don't like to hour each way commute and it makes it difficult for homework etc
• Not to have so many rules at our house
• To come and stay with us every other weekend from Friday to Monday
• To spend half of the school holidays with us
• To spend alternate Christmas and Birthdays with us
• To spend the girls' birthdays with us
• To spend Fathers day with us

What we agreed:-

• The house rules stay - no negotiation - how hard is it to make your bed, take your clothes to the laundry and shower every day?
• No school runs - I'm happy with this as it was four hours every day (3 days a week) that we were sat in the car doing school runs. Also this would have had to have changed when Lola starts school in September anyway.
• Every other weekend here - Hopefully minus the school runs this will mean we get to spend some quality time with them both?
• Alternate Christmas's with us
• Alternate birthdays with us
• Fathers day with us
• Half the school holidays with us.

Cruella has other ideas! She went absolutely crazy at the boys when they told her what they wanted and she was straight on the phone to Mr M - who may I add has really grown a pair since he's been away and firmly told her where to get off!

So the plan is for the boys to come after school this Friday - I wait with baited breath.

My prediction for Cruella involves a letter, child support and a demand for mega bucks! Unfortunately, I'm not often wrong with my Cruella predictions!

Ever decreasing circles......

Where do I begin? I suppose with an apology for being such a terrible blogger! I have been reading all of the blogs which I follow, just not blogging myself.
However I just need to get this post out, it's been going round and round in my head for so long - Minnie I'm back for some free therapy!

I guess it would be worth going back to this to get where I am coming from.....................................

I didn't see or hear from the boys until the end of November, over 8 weeks from the date Mr M went away. When I did eventually get a text message from Charlie asking if they could come to stay for the night I was elated, I didn't ask any questions I just arranged a time and date to pick them up.
The boys arrived the weekend of Lola's 4th Birthday - it was the best present anyone could have given her - short of Daddy coming home, that is. The first few hours were pure bliss, the house was filled with noise and the sound of laughter was music to my ears. The children put up the Christmas tree and life was almost normal, for a while.
It wasn't all about Lola though as it was only a few days until Charlie's birthday - so he was equally excited to receive his birthday gifts from us and my family, after which the mood certainly started to change........
The boys were getting less tolerant of the girls wanting to spend every minute with them and they were pre-occupied with their new mobile phones that Cruella had purchased them (2 days after me topping their old phones up with £45 worth of talk time!!). After putting the girls to bed that night I asked the boys if they wanted to watch a film or play a board game. They didn't want to, but they did want me to do something for them.

Let me back track a little, mid way through 2009 I started my own photography business and I have been building this up gradually. I'm not brilliant, but I have taken some lovely portraits and have covered 2 weddings which I was very proud of.

The boys wanted me to take some portraits of them for them to give to Cruella and Randall as Christmas presents. Even though my alarm bells were starting to tinkle, I set up my home studio and worked my magic on the boys, after which they said goodnight and went up to their room. At breakfast the next morning I asked them if they wanted to go shopping for some frames then we could go to lunch, as I wasn't taking them back until 4pm. They exchanged looks and said they wouldn't have time as Cruella was picking them up before lunch, they would get the portraits at some point before Christmas. Next Charlie pulled a piece of A4 paper out of his pocket and as he opened it I instantly recognised Cruella's scrawl. When I asked him what was on the paper he just handed it to me. I was totally caught off guard as I read the list (complete with hand drawn check boxes) that Cruella had written. It was all the items that they boys were to take back to her house from ours. All items that I had bought and paid for.

• New school blazer with ipod controls
• New size 5 black trainers (both pairs)
• Charlie's walking boots
• Woody's walking shoes
• Woody's DS games
• Charlie's School coat
• A coat for Woody to wear to school
• Any jeans that fit
• Any T shirts that fit
• Any hooded sweaters that fit
• PE kit and football boots (size 5) for Charlie

Believe it or not, but it was mid December and neither boy had had a coat to wear for school! I explained to the boys that they could take the stuff on the list, but it would be up to them to look after everything and ensure they returned anything they would need when they were here, as I would not be replacing anything if they decided to take it to Cruella's. They took everything!

Fast forward to the 19th December - Umpteen voice mails, text messages and emails all un replied to - and I get a text message from Charlie asking if they could come on the 20th overnight. Again I didn't ask any questions, I just agreed to collect them at 9am the next morning.

9 am on the dot and the boys bounce into the car, wanting to know if their portraits were ready! We got home and the girls were so excited to have the boys here, they were talking about Father Christmas coming and what gifts they would like to get. The boys asked if they could have their gifts before they went back to Cruella's. I was more than a little taken aback, but composed myself and explained that the girls would only be getting 'token' gifts on Christmas day and that we would be having our full family Christmas when Mr M returns (they already knew this as we had spoken about it in details before Mr M went away. Charlie didn't seem too bothered, but Woody's face was tripping him! He didn't seem to understand that whilst he would be getting gifts from Cruella and her family, the girls would have to have a few things from me or they would have nothing to open on Christmas morning - as my family and (the few that bother from Mr M's family) were not exchanging gifts until Mr M comes home.

Although neither boy was pleased with my response, we got through the next 24 hours without any major fall outs. The next day I took them back to Cruella's - with their portraits mounted, framed and wrapped. 3 for Cruella and Randall and one for Cruella's parents. We didn't even get a Christmas card, neither did Mr M - but that's boys for you eh?


We phone, we text, we email - Christmas day, Boxing day, New Years day, the day it snows and we build a snow man, the day I get the official date of Mr M's return, the details of our plans for our Christmas day, the dates of our trip to a very special holiday place. We hear nothing from either boy. Lola is beside herself - I don't know what to say. Mr M is non the wiser as they have never written to him whilst he's been away - despite me sending them stamped addressed envelopes!

Last week I get a text message from Charlie:-

'Mum's booked our holiday for the same dates as your in the summer - going with mum. Got plans for the date that you've arranged Christmas for - won't be coming. Not bothered about seeing Dad when he gets back - just ask him to ring Mum to arrange a pick up time for when we go to the very special holiday place. Charlie.'


Heartbroken. Angry. Confused. Suspicious. You bet your backside I was! I gave it a few hours to let the content of the message sink in, then I tried ringing Charlie, then Woody, then the house phone - no answer from either. So I replied with the following:-

'Hi mate, Dad will be really upset that you won't be celebrating Christmas with us, is there nothing you can do to rearrange? He has missed you just as much as the girls and I have. I can't understand why you are not planning on seeing Dad when he gets home. Give me a ring and we can try to sort something out. Love Mrs M x '

I left it several days and still I heard nothing. By this point I had come up with every excuse for their behaviour whilst Mr M has been away. I've had Cruella brainwashing them, raging hormones, peer pressure, not wanting to 'put me and the girls out'.......... but I can't find an excuse that I truly can believe. I sent my final message on Friday:-

'Charlie & Woody, You didn't reply to my last message - is everything ok? Dad will be ringing you this weekend, I've not told him about the content of your last text, I ask that neither of you mention it as it's unfair whilst he is still out there. He will be home on *****, Please call him when he gets back. Until you have spoken to him I won't book our holiday to the very special holiday place. Take care, Love Mrs M x'

I've heard nothing from either of them.

I'm still so angry. I'm angry with Cruella for encouraging/allowing the boys to treat us so terribly. I'm angry with myself for daring to expect more. I'm disappointed with the boys for thinking they can get maximum gain from minimum effort - We certainly didn't raise them this way!


I know that our little family has been ripped apart, I know it will never go back to being how it was.
I'm just hoping that I am strong enough to support Mr M and the girls through the rough ride that I know is only just starting. The last 4 1/2 months will seem like a breeze in comparison.

I came clean...

well, almost!

I felt really bad yesterday about what I'd done and turned it on myself - how would I feel if she were to do that to me (she probably has, soo many times!!). But being the better woman that I am I decided to come clean.

I told Charlie that his mum had text, but that as I'd picked the phone up to take it out to him, I'd somehow managed to delete the message - ok, don't be too hard on me, that's almost what happened!

I suggested he text her and explain that the message had been deleted before he'd had chance tp read it and ask her to re-send it. She did and this was his reply:-

'Mum - you said thankyou yesterday for your card and flowers, why did you have to send this text when we are at Dad's and Mrs M's?' Needless to say he has heard nothing from her since.


He then turned to me, read out the text she'd sent (which I'd obviously not read the previous day) and stated 'I think that was for your benefit Mrs M!'

I love that boy to bits - he is so switched on to Cruella's little games!

I also got a lovely card from the boys and some chocolates. Woody was so pleased with himself as he'd made me a card at school announcing 'I had to work twice a quick as everyone else Mrs M, I had two cards to make!'

That's my boys!

Wooka Fadooka

Whilst we were in London with Charlie and Woody, we bought the girls a couple of small gifts. One of the gifts we bought them was a flashing rubber ball from the Science Museum. Not wanting to spoil the surprise, Mr M told Lola that we'd bought her a gift but wouldn't tell her what it was.

That girl is so like her Mummy - she can't stand the suspense of surprises and it was driving her potty trying to guess what we'd bought her. Feeling her pain, I told her we'd bought her a 'Rooka Madooka' and for the rest of the journey home from Granny's she was quite happy.

When we got home she tore into the wrapping a proudly announced 'Look Dora - a Wooka Fadooka!' We laughed so hard as we thought she had 'got' the joke - hell no,that girl is so damn proud of her Wooka Fadooka she even insisted on showing the post lady!

*Don't ask who tried to take a picture of it flashing - doh!!!

Young boys stink!

I know its a wide statement, but its true -young boys stink!

Woody had a friend round today and with all 3 boys in the bedroom I needed a respirator just to enter. Now its a known fact that farts just ooze from Charlie, if there is ever a stray smell - its one of Charlies to be sure (and he probably doesn't realise its his!!)
But today, well - I'd put a years salary on it that they'd all been sitting there squeezing out farts to see who could be the most putrid without actually following through and to top it all off............................

...................................They were sat on the pile of clothes that I'd washed, ironed an laid on their bed last night - so now they stink too and are back in the laundry basket.

I usually find farting highly amusing, but today was one fart too many for this mummy!!

Anyone for chocolate?

I thought I'd Blogged about our dilemma with Cruella's Christmas present, but looking back it seems I cut her some slack - must have been having a good day!

Each and every year, we have bought Cruella a Christmas gift from the boys. We've always bought something nice and a lot of thought has usually gone into the gifts. When she hooked up with Randall and his two children we decided to buy them a shared 'family' gift from all of us. Again we have always bought a nice gift and for the past couple of years they have bought us something - just a token gift for all of us, but it was something.

This year we decided that due to Cruella's behaviour, she was getting sweet F.A from us. However, we agreed that we would pay for a token gift for her from the boys. I took Charlie shopping and he chose a lovely triple box of fudge from Thorntons for Cruella and Randall and a small novelty chocolate gift each for Randalls children. I took great delight in wrapping them and writing the gift tags - which although said 'From Charlie and Woody' -she would know it was me who had bought them!

We did not expect anything in return as I'm sure she would have rather have poked her own eyes out than buy a gift for us!

To our surprise the boys arrived on Christmas eve with a tub of chocolates stuffed into a carrier bag, with a tag on saying to Mr M, Mrs M, Lola and Dora. Mr M and I were very surprised, but in the spirit of Christmas we thanked the boys and put the chocolates to one side.


Fast forward to today. I decided it was about time I had a sort out and had discussed taking our unopened tubs and boxes of chocolates to the girls' nursery. We have 3 large unopened boxes - including the one from Cruella.

So as I sort them out I look at the tub from Cruella and something twigs. The seal doesn't look quite right and on closer inspection I can see that she has used selotape and a piece of red paper (to look like the seal) to close the tub. As I took the selotape off, the lid lifted off and inside the tub mixed in with the chocolates, were loads of wrappers!

Can you believe it - she had no intention of buying Mr M anything from the boys and was obviously shamed into sealing up a half eaten tub of chocolates for them to give to us at the last minute.

Rather than feeling angry and cheated, the fudge set we bought was lovely and the boys told us that she ate nearly all of it in one go - wide load coming through, I have laughed so much this morning and Lola and Dora have had a field day with the remaining chocolates.

Ask your mum

Crys reminded be of something i'd like to share:-

When I was pregnant with Lola the boys would love to sit and look at my pregnancy books (my bible) and see how big 'bump' was, or what 'bump' was doing at that stage. They were really excited and we tried so hard to make sure they felt involved - they were 9 and 7 at the time.

One morning on the way to school Charlie pipes up 'How did 'Bump' get into your tummy?'
I (almost crashed the car) didn't answer quite quick enough - trying to get my birds and bee's story to sound convincing - Woody saved me the bother with his answer 'Dad and Mrs M had sexing, that's what put 'bump'into your tummy isn't it Mrs M?'

I (almost crashed the car again) and copped out with 'Yes, Woody, Dad and I love each other and we created 'Bump'.'
All was quiet and thinking I'd dodged that one, I prepared myself to answer any further questions with 'Ask your Mum'. Terrible I know!
being the thinker that he is, Charlie then chirps up 'So if you and Dad put 'Bump' into your tummy, how does 'Bump' get out?'
Feeling very smug with my pre-decided answer, I almost get the 'ask' out of my mouth before Woody (the font of information) volunteers 'Bump will have to come out of your doofler wont it Mrs M?'

This time (very much in fear of crashing the car) I pulled over, 'Ask your mum' wasn't going to wash this time. The conversation was as follows:-

Woody - It does doesn't it Mrs M, Bump comes out of your Doofler?
Charlie - Don't be stupid Woody, how can a baby fit through a ladies Doofler?
Woody - It does, doesn't it Mrs M? Tell him!
Mrs M - Yes Woody, the baby does pass through a ladies Vagina when it is being born. (why didn't I think to tell them the belly button cover story?)
Charlie - But how - are ladies Dooflers really THAT big?
Mrs M - Ladies have Vaginas Charlie and no they are not THAT big.
Charlie - so just how does the baby fit through then?
Mrs M - (Ask your mum???) You've seen the film the 'Incredibles'
Boys - Yes
Mrs M - and you know that each of them has the ability to do something incredible
Boys - Yes
Mrs M - well, ladies vaginas are incredible.
Boys - Oh, THATS how the babies come out?
Mrs M - Yes.

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I'm just about to pull out to continue our journey to school when Charlie pipes up:-

Charlie - So grown ups have sexing to make a baby and then babies come out of the vagina?
Mrs - Yes mate something like that.
Charlie - Do men have vaginas?
Mrs M - No mate, only ladies
Charlie - Phew, I thought I was going to have to have sexing with a man when I'm older!

Good job I was still stationary I think I'd have crashed the car!

A tale of two beds

It's a long story, so I'll try to keep to the point.

In the summer we decided that Charlie and Woody would share the largest bedroom and Lola and Dora would have a room each (Dora was having problems settling when we tried to put her in Lola's room). This involved a massive reorganisation of the upstairs ( I called in the A team - Mum and two sisters!). We eventually got it sorted and the end result was that the boys had new wooden bunk beds, Charlie's metal high sleeper was put in the Garage, Woody's single bed was given away to a friend, Lola kept her white 4 poster and Dora was still in her cot.

I've never been entirely happy with the boys' bedroom, it's always seemed really cramped and childish so last week I decided to do something about it. The old cogs started turning and I had a (not so) bright idea.
Dora would have Lola's bed as she is getting restless in her cot (Lola was in a bed at 13 months)
Lola would have one of the bunk beds (they split into singles)
Charlie's high sleeper would go back in their room and the other bunk would go under the high sleeper at a 90 degree angle. The other side of the high sleeper has shelves and a desk.

Plan worked out great in my head - not so great in reality!

Lola loves her new bed - Dora hates hers!
Charlies high sleeper was pulled in from the garage, lugged upstairs only to find out that we'd thrown all of the screws and bolts away (Mr M was not happy!) So we had to go and buy a new high sleeper (we tried to get replacement bolts etc but couldn't get any anywhere!)
High sleeper in place and low and behold the second bunk bed (single) wouldn't fit under (AARRRGGGHHHH). No amount of pushing, pulling, squeezing and swearing could get the darn bed to fit (Mr M was not happy!). So.....we had to go and buy a single bed (metal to match the high sleeper) for Woody. However, despite all the problems, their room looks fantastic and surprisingly there is so much more room!

Moral of the tale - Mrs M needs to think things through before taking the plunge and throwing the whole house into chaos, Mr M needs to chill out and not say 'I told you so'!!

Last minute me

Why do I leave Christmas shopping to the last freaking minute?

Tonight I am sat stressing about all that I have to do tomorrow - I still have several presents to buy and like old mother Hubbard my cupboards are bare!

So, plan of action.......
Phase 1: Alarm clock is set for 3am so I can go to Tesco food shopping. I'll get back just in time for Mr M getting up for work.
Phase 2: I can shower & get dressed before Lola & Dora get up.
Phase 3: Get the girls up & dressed then head off to their Godmother's to exchange gifts (luckily I have bought hers!)
Phase 4: Convince said Godmother to mind the girls whilst I nip to the shopping outlet to buy ridiculous, expensive and useless last minute gifts.
Phase 5: Collect Lola & Dora and drive home.
Phase 6: Feed, bathe and get the girls to bed (praying the settle well)
Phase 7: Cook for Mr M, Charlie and Woody who will be ariving home about 8pm. Open the wine!
Phase 8: After the boys are in bed, wrap all the presents, including the ridiculous, expensive and useless last minute ones purchased earlier
Phase 8a: Huff and tutt at MR M for being useless at Wrapping.
Phase 9: Wish I'd not opened the bottle of wine at Phase 7
Phase 10: Finishing touches..... sprinkles, footprints, mince pies and sherry for Santa
Phase 11: Crash into bed and pray that sleep comes quickly (only 3 hours until the first cries of 'Santa's been'


I love Christmas - just wish I were more prepared. But hey, I'm the same every year & we always have a blast!

Merry Christmas to you all. xx

Home Alone

Today I cried - big, fat tears with uncontrollable sobs!

Mr M & I had a wonderful 5 days with Lola and Dora on our winter break. The girls loved all the wildlife and Lola went on two pony rides - she's a natural. She looked so darn cute and had her picture taken for next years brochure! We came home yesterday on such a high & couldn't wait to see the boys today.

Cruella dropped them off at 1pm and by 1.15pm the tears wouldn't stop.
We'd told her in February that she would have to make arrangements for the boys for this week, yet just a few weeks ago she claimed she didn't know we were going away. Sorry F*ck Face, but I've got the e mail delivery confirmation that clearly states you recieved and opened the email & just to be doubly sure, I handed Randall a copy of all of our booked holidays for 2008. Sorry, but my eyes are not painted on!
So the reason for the tears? Woody (10 years old) had the winter vomiting flu Monday and Tuesday with a spiking temperature of 40 degrees. What did Cruella do....... she went to work 8am till 8pm!
She left him home alone - both freaking days! But wait, don't condemn the evil bitch of an excuse for a mother just yet, please hear her plea.....
'Woody wasn't home alone all day, Randall called at home evry 4-6 hours to give him paracetamol to try to get his tempertaure down'.

Whoopyfuckingdo!

Mr M & I feel like crap now, and in some part feel that we should not have left the boys with her on our contact days. But what we fear most is that if she is willing to leave him home alone when he is obviously very poorly, she will not have second thoughts about leaving him home alone at any other time. What beaks my heart most is that neither of the boys can see any harm in what Cruella has done.

So Monday morning will bring a elephone call to social services and our solicitor - we just can't let this one go. Are we totally off the mark here?

Our day with Charlie

Today we took Charlie to visit his favourite Football Club - a late birthday gift as Cruella would not let him come over last weekend....
Anyway, Woody stayed with Cruella (another tale for another post) whilst Lola and Dora stayed with my mum.

So off we tootled this morning, just me, Mr M and Charlie. We had breakfast out, were able to have a 3 hour car journey without having to stop to use the toilet, pick up something that has been dropped or change a stinky nappy - heaven!
We arrived at the stadium and were able to look around the museum, trophy room and stand without having to negotiate a double buggy, listen to 'I'm bored 30 times', listen to 'Can I play my DS?', stop to use the toilet, pick up something that has been dropped or change a stinky nappy - heaven!
We then drove to the Docks and were able to enjoy hot chocolate and cakes without having to negotiate a double buggy, find a clean highchair, find a table big enough to take 6 + said highchair, listen to 'can I play on my DS?', have numerous visits to the toilets/changing room, repeat 'sit down Lola and est your cake' 30 times, having to avoid the glares of those on the next tables because Dora is just so loud - and Lola has to be louder! - Heaven!!

All in all, we had a fantastic day, Charlie smiled all day long and has never stopped talking about it. I honestly think we need to make more of an effort to spend time with the children on a 1:1 basis, as much for me & Mr M as for them.

I just can't win!

Remember this?

So today Woody came home from school with a half full lunch bag (see the optimist in me there??). He had left his sandwiches and a small chocolate cake. This is the conversation that followed:

Me: Why have you left half of your lunch?
Him: I didn't fancy ham sandwiches again.
Me: Oh, picky are we? What's wrong with ham?
Him: Well, we have a lot of meat in our school lunch and I'm a bit bored of it.
Me (Snorting like a crazed bull): Some children have never tasted ham, let alone have it in such abundance they are bored of it! As for having it too often, last week you had Tuna on Monday, Roast beef on Tuesday and Turkey on Wednesday - so what's the problem with ham?
Him: Nothing, I just fancy a change.
Me: So what would you like instead? What do you have on Thursdays and Fridays when your Mum does your pack-up?
Him: Chocolate spread or cheese paste.
Me: So you'd rather have that than fresh meat and fish? Ok, so why didn't you eat the chocolate cake?
Him: It's unhealthy!
Me (making a lunge for the wine bottle): Your Dad will do your lunch tomorrow - talk to him about it!

Some days I feel like I just can't win. What really pissed me off was that he sat stuffing his face with poached egg on toast (which I had made) this morning at 07.00hrs, watched me make his sandwiches and he said nothing!!

Karma!

So the Karma bus has well and truly struck Cruella's fat arse!

With Christmas approaching she has been dragging her heels and yet again trying to make it all about her - BIG mistake! Having avoided working for the past (forever) 8 years, she has to work this Christmas day. Again trying to dictate what will happen she told Mr M today what She wanted to happen etc etc (yep, he was bored too).
I love that man more each day, since I have taken a back step he has grown some Bo**ocks and now stands up to her. So as she stands there (fat ass wobbling) he turns to Charlie and Woody and asks if her plans are what they want too. Can you believe they totally blew her out!!!
Yee Haaa!!! The boys told her that they did not want to be messed about on Christmas day just to suit her and that she could make Christmas eve their Christmas day & they would be with us Christmas day until the 30th December!

Sounds like Cruell has pee'd off one too many of the men in my life - Man, I love all 3 of them and I'm so looking forward to Christmas.

Beep, Beep!!!!!

Mum - you are a star!

So as bad as the Outlaws are, my Mum is a star!

Growing up I didn't have much time for her, or a civil word to say to her - sorry mum. During my first marriage I didn't think she was good enough and found fault in everything she did - yet when it all came crashing down who do you think picked up the pieces and put me back together?
I can honestly she she is the best mum ever (despite pretending to have stopped smoking and sneaking the odd one here & there.... yes we know and pretend we don't so that you don't go back to smoking 20+ per day!)
She is always there for us, thinks nothing of driving the 1 hour to us just to make me a cup of tea and do my ironing (yes, she really does!).
When I had the Lola and Dora she would make the journey 3-4 times every week to do the washing & ironing and make dinner for us.
When I was unwell over the summer she would take the girls to let me rest up, she would go to appointments with me and she would look after all 6 of us for days on end when I couldn't get out of bed.
She will have the girls over night just to give us a night off and allow us a good nights sleep (yeh, right !!)
She will come over and take Charlie and Woody to school when I have to be at work early - an hour journey each way - with the girls - twice a day isn't much fun, but she never complains.
She has agreed to have the girls for the whole week so that my husband & I can go on holiday together for a week.
I know I probably sound really selfish and seem like I expect so much from her. But honestly, I don't know what I would do without her. If I'm half as good a mum as she is, I will be very proud.

Way back when.......part 7

Catch up with this

So my heart ruled my head and Mr M moved back into our home the very next day. Cruella was not a happy bunny and moved heaven and earth to make life difficult for us. I had explicit cards mailed to me, vile text messages and letters that would have made the most liberal of people blush. However, Cruella is terrible at spelling and made the same mistakes on all of the 'annonymous' mail. She also made the same mistakes on the written demands for more money she sent us - Doh!!

The financial demands continued to the point where enough was enough and we reduced these to half of what Mr M was earning, however greed took over (can you see the pattern?) and our offer was not enough. She filed a claim with CSA and they awarded her Zilch, nothing, absolutely F*ck all!!

So finances sorted (we still provided everything the Charlie and Woody needed, just not with Cruella scraping off her share) we got on with our lives and the next few years were great.

Impulsive, who me?

Today I booked a holiday. No thought - I just booked it!
On 2nd May 2009, Mr M and I will fly out to a small Greek Island for a week of R&R - no kids!!! My mum has agreed (good job as I'd already booked it - whoops!) to have Lola & Dora and Cruella will have to make arrangements for the Charlie and Woody, she dashes off here, there and everywhere so it makes a change for it to be us.
I'm so excited already. Wonder what Mr M's reaction will be when I tell him?

The kids won't miss out, we're taking them to France and EuroDisney in August 09.

10 years from now....

Charlie had to do a piece of homework for English over the holidays, where he had to write a biography of his life 10 years from now. I often worry that he takes me and Mr M for granted and feel that we often come second best. But after helping him last night with his homework I am feeling reassured. Here's a few sentences.....

....' I'm happy, healthy and really settled. Mr M's just celebrated his birthday by running his 18th marathon, Cruella is still waiting desperately for Randall to propose - don't think he has any intentions! My little brother, Woody is a computer nerd, but makes lot of money!
Randall is now living off of his son's fame and my (not so wicked) step-mum (Me!) has just beat Dad in the marathon for the first time ever - Dad's not happy but what does he expect at 50?!'
'.....Lola has just completed 10 A* GCSE's at 13 and will be taking 4 A levels next year, whilst Dora is a fantastic actress and has been approached by Hollywood'
'....Randall's daughter is off at uni and we don't see her much, whilst his son is a famous sports personality - so he should be with the money they spent on him (only him) for private coaching!'

God I love that boy!

Cruella is Scrooge?

So Cruella does it again - picks her punches and throws them well.

Charlie and Woody spent Christmas morning with us last year for the first time and they absolutely loved it. This year they have asked to do the same again - come to us Christmas eve tea and go back to Cruella Christmas day at 3pm. We have said they are old enough to express their wishes and we would respect them.
Cruella, being the bitch she is, wont play ball - oh no, it's not about what they boys want! She will let them know what HER plans are when she has made them and they can tell us so that we can fit in around them.

Can you believe how selfish she is? The boys have pointed out to her that they don't want to be with her Christmas morning, looking at presents which they are not allowed to open until Randall's children arrive at 2pm, only for us to pick them up at 3pm. Yes, that's right - the wonderfully caring Cruella thinks nothing of making her own children wait to open their Christmas presents on Christmas morning as long as it fits with her plans!

Way back when....part 6

Catch up with this, this, this, this and this. Still with me?

Sunday afternoon blurred into Monday morning - which blurred into Tuesday afternoon! I couldn't believe how much my heart ached, I'd lived with Mr M for 10 weeks yet I was mourning him like I had known him forever. I can't begin to describe the torture I put myself through trying to analyse why he had done what he had done to me. Most of all I couldn't believe that I had not only watched my soul mate walk out of my life, I had also lost Charlie and Woody, whom I had grown to love dearly.
Going into work on the Tuesday I saw Mr M - bold as brass and looking like shit - at least I wasn't the only one! As he walked towards me I didn't dare hope that he would talk to me, I didn't think I could cope with him walking past me , yet how could I face him? I'd just made a huge fool of myself and here I was willing to do it all over again (if he'd give me the chance!).
I know this is slow, but hang in there - the good part is next.......

So picture me stood frozen to the spot (wishing I'd washed my hair and put some make-up on) and there's him, looking thin and gaunt. He was so lovely when he walked up to me and asked my permission to talk to me - like I would have refused? My heart was racing yet my mind was telling me to walk away - I couldn't be hurt again.
We took a walk and Mr M let it all out, how Cruella had turned up at their old house when he was clearing it up to hand back the keys. How she had told him that the Charlie and Woody cried for Daddy every night, how she missed him and only now realised just how much she loved him, how they planned his return to her!
He told me how he had waited for her to collect him from our home, how they had packed his bags into the car and posted the keys through the letter box, how he knew at that point he was making the biggest mistake of his life! Let me repeat that just in case you missed it first time....How he knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life!
He told me how he had got into the car with her and asked her to take him and his bags to his brothers house, he told me that he knew then that it was me he wanted to be with, he told me that Cruella was not impressed when he told her!

So Mr M had taken all of his things and stayed with his brother. Cruella was kicked into touch for the final time and here he was asking for a second chance.