Mr M has had his papers issued to say that he will be deployed to Afghanistan in October 2009. Thinking we should get things in order (you just never know) we have been trying to second guess Cruella and her behaviour, not only when he tells her, but also when he has gone. My head and heart hurt and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this.
We have taken legal advice and basically we have several options:-
- File for a residence order which states Mr M and I to have 50% care. With this I would gain parental rights and responsibilities
- File for parental rights and responsibilities
- Do nothing and deal with any issues when (if) they arise
We initially thought the residence order would be the best option, but with a £5000 plus tag and no guarantees that Cruella wouldn't revoke it the minute Mr M leave the country.....
We then thought the parental rights and responsibilities was the way to go, but again with a £2500 tag and the bomb shell that follows I'm not so sure!
As it stands as soon as I accept parental rights and responsibilities I also accept financial responsibility for the boys until they are 18yrs. In itself this is nothing as I provide for them anyway...... but the minute Mr M leaves the country, Cruella could revoke contact and file for full maintenance from me. Also if Mr M were not to return or if we were to separate at a later date, Cruella can withhold contact from me but still file for full maintenance until the boys reach 18yrs and I would be 100% liable!
So do we carry on second guessing and trying to plan for all eventualities or do we just deal with the crap should it arise?