Friday, 6 March 2009

Would the real Mrs M please stand up? Part 6

When my eldest sister got married (to an absolute arse hole - another post for another day), and it was just her and Dad sat at home waiting for the wedding car, Dad gave her an 'out'. He told her she didn't have to go through with the wedding, she could take her frock off, polish off the Vodka with Dad and leave everyone else to figure out what had happened. She chose to get married.

On the morning of my wedding I knew I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I had spent the entire week trying to work out what I could do to cancel, postpone, vanish.... I knew it would all be ok in the end though. I knew my Dad, my Hero, would make things ok. He would offer me the same 'out' as he had my sister. No reason required - just an 'out'. It never came.
We waited for the wedding car, just Dad and I. he told me how proud he was of me. He told me how much he & Mum adored Mr H - the son they had never had. I cried as he walked me down the aisle. I cried as I saw the faces of my family and friends. I cried when I saw the 4 friends who had stayed at our home on the night of the stag party.
Yet everyone else was so very happy.

I made my vows in front of God and in saying each and every word I made a commitment to make this marriage work, for better or worse. How bloody true those words were.

So there it happened, I became Mrs H.

I worked at being Mrs H for 3 years. The events of the evening of the Stag party were repeated many times - each time I convinced myself it would be the last. Gone was the selfish, naive and conceited young lady and in her place was me, Mrs H. Too proud and ashamed to admit what was happening.

Then I met Mr M.


Mimi said...

Oh honey, I am so upset. I wish I could of been there to beat the crap out of him. I remember my first marriage, yes, I was married before too, I had to take a Zanax (Anti anxiety pill) and a whole bottle of wine to get my butt down the aisle. I knew I was making a huge mistake too. My mom also gave me the "out" but I was to embarrased to take it. Needless to say, I was divorced one year later! It totally sucks. The difference was that my husband was wonderful and cared for me so much, I just never cared for him the same way. My heart still breaks thinking of him. I know he is ok now but he was heartbroken and I was the one to push his to alcohol. Sometimes, I feel like a complete jerk, then I remember, God knew I was going to do this. It was in his plan for my life. Now, I think back to that and have learned a huge lesson. It made me a better wife in this marriage. I am sure God taught you something too. How unfortunate it is, this was His plan for you. One day, you will know why He planned it.

Love you,

Mrs M said...

Kami, Your words mean so much honey - Thankyou.

Minnie said...

Oh Ladies, how sickeningly similar our stories are.

Mrs. M, this is rivoting, please continue.

Two Moms With A Plan said...

Wow... I'm so sorry you went through that. I have been treated the same way by men I trusted. There is no way to explain how you feel when it happens. Everyone always says, "I would never allow that to happen to me." But they don't know until it does happen. Having been through it before... I would NEVER allow that to happen to me again. Life goes on and with every horrible relationship comes clarity and knowledge of what NOT to do in the next relationship. I'm looking forward to reading more. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life.

dearjenn said...

Honestly, I am amazed at your strength to get yourself out of that situation. Some women can never do it- but here is yet another reason I admire you.

Who's reading?