I just can't win!

Remember this?

So today Woody came home from school with a half full lunch bag (see the optimist in me there??). He had left his sandwiches and a small chocolate cake. This is the conversation that followed:

Me: Why have you left half of your lunch?
Him: I didn't fancy ham sandwiches again.
Me: Oh, picky are we? What's wrong with ham?
Him: Well, we have a lot of meat in our school lunch and I'm a bit bored of it.
Me (Snorting like a crazed bull): Some children have never tasted ham, let alone have it in such abundance they are bored of it! As for having it too often, last week you had Tuna on Monday, Roast beef on Tuesday and Turkey on Wednesday - so what's the problem with ham?
Him: Nothing, I just fancy a change.
Me: So what would you like instead? What do you have on Thursdays and Fridays when your Mum does your pack-up?
Him: Chocolate spread or cheese paste.
Me: So you'd rather have that than fresh meat and fish? Ok, so why didn't you eat the chocolate cake?
Him: It's unhealthy!
Me (making a lunge for the wine bottle): Your Dad will do your lunch tomorrow - talk to him about it!

Some days I feel like I just can't win. What really pissed me off was that he sat stuffing his face with poached egg on toast (which I had made) this morning at 07.00hrs, watched me make his sandwiches and he said nothing!!