10 years from now....

Charlie had to do a piece of homework for English over the holidays, where he had to write a biography of his life 10 years from now. I often worry that he takes me and Mr M for granted and feel that we often come second best. But after helping him last night with his homework I am feeling reassured. Here's a few sentences.....

....' I'm happy, healthy and really settled. Mr M's just celebrated his birthday by running his 18th marathon, Cruella is still waiting desperately for Randall to propose - don't think he has any intentions! My little brother, Woody is a computer nerd, but makes lot of money!
Randall is now living off of his son's fame and my (not so wicked) step-mum (Me!) has just beat Dad in the marathon for the first time ever - Dad's not happy but what does he expect at 50?!'
'.....Lola has just completed 10 A* GCSE's at 13 and will be taking 4 A levels next year, whilst Dora is a fantastic actress and has been approached by Hollywood'
'....Randall's daughter is off at uni and we don't see her much, whilst his son is a famous sports personality - so he should be with the money they spent on him (only him) for private coaching!'

God I love that boy!

Weight loss after breastfeeding

I can't believe that I can actually fit into Mr M's jeans - I've not been able to do this since we got married!
Since 9th June 2008 I have dropped in weight from 12st 8lb to 9st 12lb, mostly due to being extremely ill with not one but 3 rare diseases and I stopped breastfeeding Dora in August.
What I can't understand is how other people say breastfeeding makes you loose weight - with both Lola and Dora I lost weight after the birth but once breastfeeding was established I put weight back on! Maybe I just over ate, or more feasibly, I refused to diet whilst breastfeeding.

So whatever the cause, is it wrong for me to be really pleased that I can fit my skinny little arse in to Mr M's jeans? Is it even more wicked that whilst I am shrinking, Cruella is spreading - wide load coming through!! Don't you just love Karma?

Cruella is Scrooge?

So Cruella does it again - picks her punches and throws them well.

Charlie and Woody spent Christmas morning with us last year for the first time and they absolutely loved it. This year they have asked to do the same again - come to us Christmas eve tea and go back to Cruella Christmas day at 3pm. We have said they are old enough to express their wishes and we would respect them.
Cruella, being the bitch she is, wont play ball - oh no, it's not about what they boys want! She will let them know what HER plans are when she has made them and they can tell us so that we can fit in around them.

Can you believe how selfish she is? The boys have pointed out to her that they don't want to be with her Christmas morning, looking at presents which they are not allowed to open until Randall's children arrive at 2pm, only for us to pick them up at 3pm. Yes, that's right - the wonderfully caring Cruella thinks nothing of making her own children wait to open their Christmas presents on Christmas morning as long as it fits with her plans!

Way back when....part 6

Catch up with this, this, this, this and this. Still with me?

Sunday afternoon blurred into Monday morning - which blurred into Tuesday afternoon! I couldn't believe how much my heart ached, I'd lived with Mr M for 10 weeks yet I was mourning him like I had known him forever. I can't begin to describe the torture I put myself through trying to analyse why he had done what he had done to me. Most of all I couldn't believe that I had not only watched my soul mate walk out of my life, I had also lost Charlie and Woody, whom I had grown to love dearly.
Going into work on the Tuesday I saw Mr M - bold as brass and looking like shit - at least I wasn't the only one! As he walked towards me I didn't dare hope that he would talk to me, I didn't think I could cope with him walking past me , yet how could I face him? I'd just made a huge fool of myself and here I was willing to do it all over again (if he'd give me the chance!).
I know this is slow, but hang in there - the good part is next.......

So picture me stood frozen to the spot (wishing I'd washed my hair and put some make-up on) and there's him, looking thin and gaunt. He was so lovely when he walked up to me and asked my permission to talk to me - like I would have refused? My heart was racing yet my mind was telling me to walk away - I couldn't be hurt again.
We took a walk and Mr M let it all out, how Cruella had turned up at their old house when he was clearing it up to hand back the keys. How she had told him that the Charlie and Woody cried for Daddy every night, how she missed him and only now realised just how much she loved him, how they planned his return to her!
He told me how he had waited for her to collect him from our home, how they had packed his bags into the car and posted the keys through the letter box, how he knew at that point he was making the biggest mistake of his life! Let me repeat that just in case you missed it first time....How he knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life!
He told me how he had got into the car with her and asked her to take him and his bags to his brothers house, he told me that he knew then that it was me he wanted to be with, he told me that Cruella was not impressed when he told her!

So Mr M had taken all of his things and stayed with his brother. Cruella was kicked into touch for the final time and here he was asking for a second chance.

Jamie Oliver she is not!

This is the packed lunch that Cruella sent our Woody to school with for his educational trip today. I'm sure you will appreciate the the chocolate spread sandwich, two packets (yes-two) of crisps, two 500ml bottles of sports drink and all of the other zero nutritional content items...... Need I say any more?

You are probably asking why I'm posting this? For years we have had battles with packed lunches - at one point I would buy the bread, fillings, fruit and juice to send to Cruella's with them for the week just to make sure they had something decent! In all honesty, I would have struggled to have eaten half, never mind all, of the above. So is it any wonder that it was still in his lunch bag when he got home tonight?

Jamie Oliver she certainly isn't - neglectful she certainly is!

Stalkers? Yes please!

So I've been blogging for a few weeks now & have a few returning faithfulls. I can't believe that anyone (let alone several people) would be interested in little old me and my life!
So, if you are stalking - expose yourself!

Soldier boy, home on leave!

Yeeehaaa! Mr M is home after 2 weeks (ok I know many ladies have their husbands away for much longer) and boy am I a happy bunny!

Lord, I missed him so much and couldn't wait to see him - so why have I done nothing but criticise him since he got home?

Anyway - looking forward to the bottle of Greek Red and the X Factor. I know I'm sad, but I will be so contented!

Welcome home honey - I sure have missed you!

Love me x
Oh and he loves my new hair cut - says I look very sexy!

Old and Fat?

Today I got lots of compliments on my new hair cut - people were so surprised I'd taken the plunge.

In with all the compliments came the realisation that I must have looked a right state before my hair cut for example:-

Viv: Wow you look fantastic Boss, it takes years off you!

Me: So I used to look old then?

Viv: No, I didn't mean that (keep digging), It's just that you look years younger and the cut makes you look so much slimmer.

Me: So not only did I look old, I also looked fat too?

Viv: (digging a huge hole) No that's not what I mean. Oh, bloody hell I should quit now!

How could I be angry with her for telling the truth?
Goodbye to the old. fat frump and hello to the new chic me!!

Move over Posh.... I've had a hair cut!

Today I took the plunge and had my hair well and truly cut!
I've gone for somewhere between Mrs Tom*Cruise and Mrs *Beckham and I love it. I feel so much younger and it really suits my face now that I've lost so much weight (27lb from 9th June).

Move over Posh.......

Oh, maybe I should maintain a degree of hesitancy as my wonderful Husband is still away and hasn't seen it yet (and Mr M really does not like women with short hair - whoops!)

I'm hooked!

I took Dianne's' advice and registered with a free Statistics company & boy am I hooked! It's just so amazing that I can see who has looked at my blog (OK, so it's mostly me but it's still exciting).
I've got this fab map thing that puts little tags on to show where any readers are located - I have 4 returning hits from the US and amazingly 3 from the UK.
Think I'm verging on being a nerd here.
Off to check again!!

My Big Sister G

I love her.
She is always there for me - no matter what.
She is an amazingly strong lady who has raised 3 wonderful boys single handed (I've struggled being on my own for just over 1 week).
She brings balance to my life - if I'm the yang then she is the ying.
We are not twins, but are Gemini's who are born on the same day - need I say more?

G, I love you sis.

Why am I crying?

Tonight I cried as I ironed the boys' school uniforms. I cried because for the first time ever they will go to school tomorrow in uniform that is too big, too small, too grey and too worn.

I've reached the point where I can no longer battle with Cruella over school uniforms, neither can I afford to keep buying more to replace the ones that go to her cave and never return. She has told me I do not need to be so involved - she's told me to butt out!

So we have made a decision - we will send the boys to school in whatever Cruella sends with them, regardless!

So tomorrow Charlie will go to school in trousers with an elasticated adjustable waist (he's almost 12 for goodness sake) that are at least 6 inches too long for him. His shirt is grey (should be white) and the collar is so crumpled it looks like a fashion shirt. He has no jumper so I hope it's mild.
The Woody will go to school in trousers which hit somewhere around the rim of his socks and have (almost) holes in both knees. His shirt is grey (should be white too) and has a lovely pink paint stain on the front. He too has no jumper.

My heart is breaking, I can't believe it has come to this. But we both agree that the boys are old enough to either tell Cruella the uniform she is sending is unsuitable or they have to realise it is not us who are letting them down. We've told them that they will go with whatever she sends and if she doesn't send any, then they will go in none uniform and she can explain to school why.

Are we so off the mark, what options do we have? Should we keep hiding their mothers neglect and leave them to think she is so darn wonderful and it is us who always create a fuss over nothing (as she regularly tells them)? Regardless, it doesn't make me feel any better knowing that my boys will leave here in the morning looking a state!

Cars 4 less = that cost more!

Did I tell you about the fab car I bought earlier this year? Did you see it?.....

No, that's right! I didn't have it long enough!

To cut a long story short I bought a used car in March 2008, it broke the day we bought it and has been with the wonderful (lly crap) garage who sold it to us ever since! After a long battle and a lot of financial outlay, I had my day in court today. Yippee

Actually, it's more like F*ck, F*ck, F*ck. The garage has now ceased trading, they have filed to dissolve the company and the debts die with the company. So, by paying £140 the directors of the company can wipe out their debts and move on. Meanwhile, I'm left with a £4000 hole in my pocket!

I pay my taxes, I live by the law and for what? I've been F*cked over by a dodgy second hand car salesman - and you wonder why I drink so much!

I just can't help myself.

Last night Charlie asked me to look at his Religious Education homework. He'd been given 2 weeks to complete the work and had managed to produce the grand total of 1 typed A4 page!
He had asked his Mum (Cruella) to check and she'd said it was fine, but he wanted to run it by me - 'as I'm good at this kind of thing' (and she's not?!!)

Not wanting to pee on his bonfire, I tell him the work he's done is really good, but I think we should add to it. So tonight we have spent a couple of hours researching the *Star of David* and Charlie has produced a fantastice piece of work, complete with reference pages and it is thermal binded (yes, I know he will be the envy of his class mates!). It is all his work, with just guidance and support from me.

I just can't help myself can I? How on earth can I take a back seat and allow him to hand in a scrappy A4 sheet when I know he is capable of so much more? More importantly, how can Cruella honestly tell him that he has done enough? This is where it is clear that we have completely different standards - and I'm not going to compromise mine!

It's still me!

You may (or may not) have noticed a few changes around here. I've decided to try to maintain the privacy of my family and myself by changing the identifiable details within my profile and posts. I'm sure after reading what we have had to put up with regarding Cruella - you will all agree that it's probably for the best.

Looking at things from a legal persective, nothing within my blog can be classed as liable or slander - as it's all true. But to avoid any (more) unnecessary unpleasantness I've opted for the changes.

I hope you understand - after all it's still me!

Fellow Bloggers please help

I read a number of blogs and follow others like a religion. I'd be interested to know who (if anyone) reads my blog and also the search terms which link people here.

Any advice on how I can find out this info - I know some of you do this, am I just a bit dumb?

If you love him,. let him go.

That's exactly what I did - I let him go. I didn't fight for him, I didn't make him feel bad, I just let him go.
He walked out of my life almost as quickly as he had entered it.

Me - I'd not only lost my soul mate, I'd also lost two little boys that I had grown to love so much. My heart was well and truly broken. I didn't feel that bad when my relationship had ended with my 1st husband after 10 years - lord I'd got it bad!

Way back when......part 5

Catch up with this .

Here's little naive me, falling madly in love and there's Mr M getting more and more distant from me. I couldn't work out what was going on in his head - the man is as deep as the ocean!
The bombshell hit - 10 weeks after we moved in together, on a Saturday night with the Charlie and Woody tucked up in their new beds, he announced that he was moving out and going to give things with Cruella another try. (Insert me crumpling to the floor as my chest is ripped open and my heart is torn out).

So what did I do? I didn't shout, scream, plead, bad mouth her or him. I didn't try to make him feel bad about all the crap we had been through because of her or all the money I had shelled out for him, the boys and her. No, being me I decided to do the only thing I knew - I stood back and took it. In the 10 weeks we'd been together I'd always told him to go back to Cruella if he thought there was any chance he could save his marriage. I guess we all say things we don't really mean........
I cried as I packed his (my) bags, folding everything with such attention. I packed everything I had bought for him and Charlie and Woody. I packed his military medal collection that Cruella had sold & I had bought back.
He phoned Cruella the next morning and she collected the boys whilst he sorted the last of his packing - for a guy that had came with nothing, he was leaving with lots! With everything packed, I left the house and went to work - asking him to post the keys back through the letter box when he had done.

So that night I returned to an empty house (I've never lived alone so it was quite daunting) with a bottle of wine and I got hammered. The one thing that did me, was that he'd had it all planned - Cruella had turned up to collect the boys and was not surprised - they'd obviously sorted the arrangements out between them. And me?...... I spent the next few days feeling like a mug (a very drunk one at that).

*Bridget Jones* eat your heart out!

The woman has no scruples!

Catch up with this and then I'll tell you more.

So Cruella thinks (this month) that I should have no part to play in the boys' lives - other than babysit for them now and again. He went away last weekend and wont be home until next weekend, so we were preparing ourselves for battle.
Any other time when he has gone away we have always given the boys the option of coming to stay with me, or spend extra days with their mum. This time we did exactly the same - why should we be any different just because she acts so vile? We asked the boys several weeks ago what they wanted to do & the boys both said they still wanted to come here so we left it there & informed Cruella.
You can imagine the response - over her dead body (if only wishes came true!!)
She kicked up such a stink that we were ready for a scene last weekend when we went to collect the boys... and this is what we were greeted with:

Him: have the boys got everything they need for school?

Cruella: I thought you were away this weekend?

Him: I go tomorrow, have the boys got everything?

Cruella: When do you get back?

Him: I'll be away for two weeks, have the boys got everything?

Cruella: If you're away, what's happening next wekend?

Him: The boys said they still want to come - is there a problem with that?

Cruella: No, I was just making sure they were still going to yours- I'm on nights.

So, here we were preparing to fight her tooth and nail when we had nothing to worry about - the woman has no scruples!!!

Oh and the eldest had left his blazer and the youngest had left his coat - if only she had been more interested in the boys......

Way Back When.....Part 4

Try catching up with this, this and this. Sorted?

We spend the rest of January and the early weeks of February having two great days every week - taking the boys to the seaside, in-door play area, parks etc. The other five days we work like mad on the house and still find the time to go to work 38 hours a week. We accept Cruella's demands and the night before pay day she phones just to remind him she wants £400 in cash the next morning - if he's a good boy he may catch a glimpse of his boys for the 3rd time that week!
All in all, life isn't perfect but I can honestly say we were happily getting to know each other and by the 2nd week in February we had central heating and the house was almost furnished (not decorated, but furnished was good). Would you believe it if I told you Cruella moved the goalposts again - I know shocker!!
On the Friday of the second week in February He drove to the supermarket car park to collect the boys for the day as planned. However after he had the boys in their car seats (which we'd had to buy as Cruella refused to loan the ones from his car that she was using) she informed him that she would collect them on Sunday evening - WTF??? With this she got back in the car and drove away (into the sunset never to been seen again - sorry wishful thinking there), leaving Him with two little boys and nothing more than the clothes they had on!
Luckily it was early Friday morning, so we were able to find a shop that would deliver two beds and bedding that day and I had money to go and buy clothes, PJ's, toys and everything else two little boys would need for a whole weekend.

We had a great weekend, the boys loved being with their Daddy and I'm sure I wasn't too much of a chore for them. It broke His heart to have to take them back to her on the Sunday, but his spirits were lifted when she informed him this would be a regular arrangement - every other weekend and two days per week. Had she had a change of heart? Did she now see that her marriage had been over long before He had left? Was she showing that she could be reasonable and civil for the sake of the children and putting them first?

No - she had a new boyfriend and wanted some free time!

The school uniform battle continues

Forgive me if this post is off on a tangent - I just need to get it out there and off my chest.
Over the years we have had a constant battle with Cruella regarding the boys' school uniform. Basically we buy it and she keeps it, so we buy more and ... she keeps it, so we buy more - do you get the picture?
I thought we'd put an end to all that last September, when we bought double uniform for both boys and sent a set with them to Cruella's. The instructions were clear - she needed to send a full set each weekend, which we would send them to school in each Wednesday (we take them to school and she collects them on Wednesdays). We are now 4 weeks into the school term and I am almost at boiling point - I sent both boys to school today in the last whole uniform we had. When you consider they had 4 sets each and only go to school from here Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays! So Cruella is up to her old tricks again :-
Weeks 1 - She sent no uniform at all
Week 2 - No shirts or jumpers and trousers aged 8-9 yrs that ended mid shin on both boys (I put them straight in the recycle bin)
Week 3 - Two shirts (yippee), No jumpers and trousers that fit both him and me, yes they were a little on the large side!
Week 4 - Stained shirts (off white), no jumpers and the same huge trousers I returned to her the week before!

What does a girl do? Don a balaclava and sneak into her house to steal the stuff back? No, I'm going to spend my day off shopping for school uniforms, then evening labelling them. Why? Because what else can I do?

When I say I feel fine..

I had a consultant appointment today to follow up my recent health problems. Over the summer I was diagnosed with Erythema Nodosum (EN) and Urticaria Pigmentosa (mastocytosis). I had three months of pain and worry - especially when bone marrow biopsies were mentioned and I was instructed to stop breastfeeding Dora in preparation for treatment!
Thankfully the mast cell tumors are limited to the outer layers of my skin, have not spread to any internal organs and are benign. The EN is in remission and may stay this way forever (fingers crossed). On the down side, the fatigue I have been experiencing could be with me for up to a year or even longer as a result of the EN and I have been diagnosed with Sarcoidosis (my need to Google is great) and have been referred back to my Rheumatology consultant for a suspected auto immune disorder (I have no idea which).

So when I say I feel fine, that's exactly what I mean. I don't feel great, but I don't feel anywhere near as bad as I did over the summer. Oh and did I tell you that I have to avoid stress and stressful situations as it can trigger the outbreaks of EN and Mastocytosis!!!!