The best laid plans.....

Tomorrow is the big day, the day I get to sell myself and bag a new job - if I'm lucky!

Today I had so much planned:-

6.30 - take the girls to nursery
7.30 - Go to the gym, do a 10K
9.00 - Hair cut & colour
Lunch - return home & select interview outfit (which consists of trying on every suit, trouser, skirt, jacket & shirt combination I own.
Some time later - tackle the shoe decision
Some time before 5.30 - go through all the research I've done for the job & practice some answers
5.30 - Pick the girls up
6.30 - girls in the bath, supper & bed
7.30 - Crack open the wine
Sometime before midnight - crawl into bed & pray the girls sleep through!

Unfortunately we failed at the first hurdle - both girls are running a fever, Dora has a viral rash & has been puking for England.
All bets are off, all plans are cancelled.

The joys of being a mum!

Papillon

We have had 3 of these in our laundry room all winter

I wanted to knock them off, but Mr M would never have forgiven me if I had!

I am so glad that I left them alone as on Wednesday the girls and watched the first one hatch.

Here's the first picture of our newest family member:

The girls were mesmerised the whole time, they both sat there watching for well over an hour! Lola was most upset when I took it to the window to let it fly outside - she thought we were going to keep it in the hutch with the guinea pigs!

I too had a lump in my throat when I let it go.

However, having a 3 year old and an 18 month old demanding we spend the next six hours camped out in the laundry waiting for the other two to hatch has taken the shine off this moment somewhat!

Wooka Fadooka

Whilst we were in London with Charlie and Woody, we bought the girls a couple of small gifts. One of the gifts we bought them was a flashing rubber ball from the Science Museum. Not wanting to spoil the surprise, Mr M told Lola that we'd bought her a gift but wouldn't tell her what it was.

That girl is so like her Mummy - she can't stand the suspense of surprises and it was driving her potty trying to guess what we'd bought her. Feeling her pain, I told her we'd bought her a 'Rooka Madooka' and for the rest of the journey home from Granny's she was quite happy.

When we got home she tore into the wrapping a proudly announced 'Look Dora - a Wooka Fadooka!' We laughed so hard as we thought she had 'got' the joke - hell no,that girl is so damn proud of her Wooka Fadooka she even insisted on showing the post lady!

*Don't ask who tried to take a picture of it flashing - doh!!!

Toxic Friend part 2

Remember this?

Today was the day that I'd arranged to meet Mavis. We were supposed to meet at a neutral location, where the kids could play and we could have a natter. Unfortunately I had to pick Lola and Dora up from Nursery later than planned, so I couldn't make the arranged time.
I contacted Mavis and explained the situation and suggested that I just call into her house for a quick coffee and catch up instead.

Talk about lead balloon - the idea was a complete non-starter.

Mavis made every excuse possible to prevent the girls and I from going to her home and I have no idea why. So as it stands, we didn't meet up and we have made no plans for getting together at a later date. Perhaps my suggestion to invade her home was the final straw - maybe she thought I would have expected her to run around after the girls and I, and cook us all tea?

Funny how things can suddenly change when you move the goal posts I know what tactic to employ if any future contact is made...... 'Of course we'd love to see you Mavis, how about the girls and I come to yours for the day next week?'

We need food!

Lola came to the kitchen this morning, about 40 minutes after breakfast. As she stood there hand in hand with Dora (too cute) this is the conversation that followed:-

Me - Hi girls are you ok?

Lola - No Mummy, we are hungry.

Me - Really? You've only just had breakfast.

Lola - I know, but we are ready for our lunch.

Me - Are you hungry too Dora?

Dora - Nods her head and signs 'To eat'

Me - Oh, Ok. Just let me finish cleaning up then I'll make you something to eat.

Lola - Come on Dora, we might as well go and play, Mummy's going to let us starve!


WTF? She's 3!!

Little Miss Independent

Did I ever tell you that Lola is 3, going on 33?

For what you are about to read I apologise now - I am a terrible mother!
Monday evening my best friend Trixie called and literally minutes into the conversation Dora had a poo. Being the expert - at multi tasking - that I am, I decided I could shoulder the phone & have Dora cleaned up in no time - Yes, right!
Mid change Lola asked for some toast - food was the furthest thing from my mind, but she's 3 so.... Whilst shouldering the phone, mid conversation with Trixi, mid wipe with Dora - I explained I would make her some toast, just as soon as I was finished.

The changing took longer than expected (sometimes it just does!) and engrossed in conversation with Trixie I just presumed that Lola has gone into the play room to amuse herself. Lesson learnt - never presume with a 3 year old.
So, change completed, conversation with Trixie over, I walked into the kitchen and almost had kittens - The scene:-

Chair dragged up to the work counter.
Lola stood on said chair.
Chopping board, child's knife and butter in front of her.
One slice of brown bread happily toasting away in the toaster.

I scream and Lola responds with 'its' ok Mum, I've got it all under control'!
Lesson learnt - Children watch and take in everything you do - even when you think they don't.

The toast pops up, Lola butters it and happily stands there eating her creation - very pleased with herself.


Since this very eye opening event things have changed a little round here - the toaster now lives in a very high cupboard. the microwave, kettle and coffee machine are left unplugged when not in use. Child safety caps have been placed on all sockets (even the ones I thought were out of reach). Lola and I have had a very long chat about her culinary talents and I think she understands that at 3 years old she mustn't try anything like this again.

I know that this should not have happened in the first place - no excuses - but in reality I can't watch her every second. I do have to change Dora but lesson learnt - multi tasking isn't always so clever!

Shoot me now!

A tale of two beds

It's a long story, so I'll try to keep to the point.

In the summer we decided that Charlie and Woody would share the largest bedroom and Lola and Dora would have a room each (Dora was having problems settling when we tried to put her in Lola's room). This involved a massive reorganisation of the upstairs ( I called in the A team - Mum and two sisters!). We eventually got it sorted and the end result was that the boys had new wooden bunk beds, Charlie's metal high sleeper was put in the Garage, Woody's single bed was given away to a friend, Lola kept her white 4 poster and Dora was still in her cot.

I've never been entirely happy with the boys' bedroom, it's always seemed really cramped and childish so last week I decided to do something about it. The old cogs started turning and I had a (not so) bright idea.
Dora would have Lola's bed as she is getting restless in her cot (Lola was in a bed at 13 months)
Lola would have one of the bunk beds (they split into singles)
Charlie's high sleeper would go back in their room and the other bunk would go under the high sleeper at a 90 degree angle. The other side of the high sleeper has shelves and a desk.

Plan worked out great in my head - not so great in reality!

Lola loves her new bed - Dora hates hers!
Charlies high sleeper was pulled in from the garage, lugged upstairs only to find out that we'd thrown all of the screws and bolts away (Mr M was not happy!) So we had to go and buy a new high sleeper (we tried to get replacement bolts etc but couldn't get any anywhere!)
High sleeper in place and low and behold the second bunk bed (single) wouldn't fit under (AARRRGGGHHHH). No amount of pushing, pulling, squeezing and swearing could get the darn bed to fit (Mr M was not happy!). So.....we had to go and buy a single bed (metal to match the high sleeper) for Woody. However, despite all the problems, their room looks fantastic and surprisingly there is so much more room!

Moral of the tale - Mrs M needs to think things through before taking the plunge and throwing the whole house into chaos, Mr M needs to chill out and not say 'I told you so'!!

Last minute me

Why do I leave Christmas shopping to the last freaking minute?

Tonight I am sat stressing about all that I have to do tomorrow - I still have several presents to buy and like old mother Hubbard my cupboards are bare!

So, plan of action.......
Phase 1: Alarm clock is set for 3am so I can go to Tesco food shopping. I'll get back just in time for Mr M getting up for work.
Phase 2: I can shower & get dressed before Lola & Dora get up.
Phase 3: Get the girls up & dressed then head off to their Godmother's to exchange gifts (luckily I have bought hers!)
Phase 4: Convince said Godmother to mind the girls whilst I nip to the shopping outlet to buy ridiculous, expensive and useless last minute gifts.
Phase 5: Collect Lola & Dora and drive home.
Phase 6: Feed, bathe and get the girls to bed (praying the settle well)
Phase 7: Cook for Mr M, Charlie and Woody who will be ariving home about 8pm. Open the wine!
Phase 8: After the boys are in bed, wrap all the presents, including the ridiculous, expensive and useless last minute ones purchased earlier
Phase 8a: Huff and tutt at MR M for being useless at Wrapping.
Phase 9: Wish I'd not opened the bottle of wine at Phase 7
Phase 10: Finishing touches..... sprinkles, footprints, mince pies and sherry for Santa
Phase 11: Crash into bed and pray that sleep comes quickly (only 3 hours until the first cries of 'Santa's been'


I love Christmas - just wish I were more prepared. But hey, I'm the same every year & we always have a blast!

Merry Christmas to you all. xx

Home Alone

Today I cried - big, fat tears with uncontrollable sobs!

Mr M & I had a wonderful 5 days with Lola and Dora on our winter break. The girls loved all the wildlife and Lola went on two pony rides - she's a natural. She looked so darn cute and had her picture taken for next years brochure! We came home yesterday on such a high & couldn't wait to see the boys today.

Cruella dropped them off at 1pm and by 1.15pm the tears wouldn't stop.
We'd told her in February that she would have to make arrangements for the boys for this week, yet just a few weeks ago she claimed she didn't know we were going away. Sorry F*ck Face, but I've got the e mail delivery confirmation that clearly states you recieved and opened the email & just to be doubly sure, I handed Randall a copy of all of our booked holidays for 2008. Sorry, but my eyes are not painted on!
So the reason for the tears? Woody (10 years old) had the winter vomiting flu Monday and Tuesday with a spiking temperature of 40 degrees. What did Cruella do....... she went to work 8am till 8pm!
She left him home alone - both freaking days! But wait, don't condemn the evil bitch of an excuse for a mother just yet, please hear her plea.....
'Woody wasn't home alone all day, Randall called at home evry 4-6 hours to give him paracetamol to try to get his tempertaure down'.

Whoopyfuckingdo!

Mr M & I feel like crap now, and in some part feel that we should not have left the boys with her on our contact days. But what we fear most is that if she is willing to leave him home alone when he is obviously very poorly, she will not have second thoughts about leaving him home alone at any other time. What beaks my heart most is that neither of the boys can see any harm in what Cruella has done.

So Monday morning will bring a elephone call to social services and our solicitor - we just can't let this one go. Are we totally off the mark here?

See you on Friday

Tomorrow Mr M, Lola, Dora and I leave for our winter break. We are off here for 5 days and I am so excited!

I'm sure I'll have loads to update you on when I get back - like Cruella is going to let us have 5 days of peace & quiet?!

Our day with Charlie

Today we took Charlie to visit his favourite Football Club - a late birthday gift as Cruella would not let him come over last weekend....
Anyway, Woody stayed with Cruella (another tale for another post) whilst Lola and Dora stayed with my mum.

So off we tootled this morning, just me, Mr M and Charlie. We had breakfast out, were able to have a 3 hour car journey without having to stop to use the toilet, pick up something that has been dropped or change a stinky nappy - heaven!
We arrived at the stadium and were able to look around the museum, trophy room and stand without having to negotiate a double buggy, listen to 'I'm bored 30 times', listen to 'Can I play my DS?', stop to use the toilet, pick up something that has been dropped or change a stinky nappy - heaven!
We then drove to the Docks and were able to enjoy hot chocolate and cakes without having to negotiate a double buggy, find a clean highchair, find a table big enough to take 6 + said highchair, listen to 'can I play on my DS?', have numerous visits to the toilets/changing room, repeat 'sit down Lola and est your cake' 30 times, having to avoid the glares of those on the next tables because Dora is just so loud - and Lola has to be louder! - Heaven!!

All in all, we had a fantastic day, Charlie smiled all day long and has never stopped talking about it. I honestly think we need to make more of an effort to spend time with the children on a 1:1 basis, as much for me & Mr M as for them.

I can't give it away!

When I was pregnant with Lola we were so lucky to have kind friends who gave us lots and lots of baby stuff. I don't see the point in spending £££'s when I'd been given perfectly good stuff for free.

In the same spirit I have passed many items onto friends and they too have been grateful. Now that Dora has passed the 'baby' stage I have lots more stuff washed and packed up - many items are still in the original box:-

• Mama's and Papa's car seat - cost £150 and used for 4 months
• Bumbo seat - boxed as new
• Steam sterilizer - Boxed as new
• Annabel Karmel weaning kit - blended, ramekins, measuring spoons, pots all boxed as new
• NUK bottles and teats - unopened
• 2 hanging rails full of baby clothes - washed and like new

I know several young girls who are pregnant with girls and I have offered all of the above items and so much more - for free. Given the current financial climate, and I know that these girls are low earners, I'd have thought they would have snapped my hands off......... not a chance!! Neither of them want to have second hand stuff for their babies and would rather spend money they don't have to buy new!

You just can't help some people, I know it's nice to have new but in today's climate I'd be grabbing anything that was offered to me!

Who needs toys when you have a box?

Lola and Dora had so much fun with this box - too funny! I wish I'd thought to film it when they first stated playing, Dora was hilarious, jumping up to shout boo - but she couldn't even see over the top of the box!!

Mum - you are a star!

So as bad as the Outlaws are, my Mum is a star!

Growing up I didn't have much time for her, or a civil word to say to her - sorry mum. During my first marriage I didn't think she was good enough and found fault in everything she did - yet when it all came crashing down who do you think picked up the pieces and put me back together?
I can honestly she she is the best mum ever (despite pretending to have stopped smoking and sneaking the odd one here & there.... yes we know and pretend we don't so that you don't go back to smoking 20+ per day!)
She is always there for us, thinks nothing of driving the 1 hour to us just to make me a cup of tea and do my ironing (yes, she really does!).
When I had the Lola and Dora she would make the journey 3-4 times every week to do the washing & ironing and make dinner for us.
When I was unwell over the summer she would take the girls to let me rest up, she would go to appointments with me and she would look after all 6 of us for days on end when I couldn't get out of bed.
She will have the girls over night just to give us a night off and allow us a good nights sleep (yeh, right !!)
She will come over and take Charlie and Woody to school when I have to be at work early - an hour journey each way - with the girls - twice a day isn't much fun, but she never complains.
She has agreed to have the girls for the whole week so that my husband & I can go on holiday together for a week.
I know I probably sound really selfish and seem like I expect so much from her. But honestly, I don't know what I would do without her. If I'm half as good a mum as she is, I will be very proud.

The Out Laws

Did I ever tell you about my mother & father in law?
To cut a (very) long story short lets just say they are two of the most selfish and self centred individuals that I know. They have seen my children twice in the last 14 months, despite both being retired an living about 10 minutes away. They wont come and visit unless I cook for them and wait on them hand and foot (With 4 children I now flatly refuse - not that they offer to come much) They have seen Dora twice since she was born and she is now 14months old.
They wouldn't come and visit last Christmas - the only time we have never drove to them as we didn't have a car big enough to carry all six of us after I swerved to miss a pigeon and damaged our people carrier on Christmas eve- whoops - the excuse being they didn't want to leave their house on Christmas day. Oh, so it ok for us to drag the kids away from their toys then to visit you?

They will not help out with babysitting at all - the one and only time we asked they agreed on the basis that I paid them the same £43 daily rate I pay for nursery - WTF?
So, they have earned the title of the outlaws, as they too rob you blind!!

Impulsive, who me?

Today I booked a holiday. No thought - I just booked it!
On 2nd May 2009, Mr M and I will fly out to a small Greek Island for a week of R&R - no kids!!! My mum has agreed (good job as I'd already booked it - whoops!) to have Lola & Dora and Cruella will have to make arrangements for the Charlie and Woody, she dashes off here, there and everywhere so it makes a change for it to be us.
I'm so excited already. Wonder what Mr M's reaction will be when I tell him?

The kids won't miss out, we're taking them to France and EuroDisney in August 09.

Redundant Human Milk Machine

My dear friend Jenn has emailed a few questions asking about my Breastfeeding experiences. Am I weird to miss being a human milk machine?

I breastfed both Lola and Dora and whilst I did this through informed choice, I'd never say it was easy. There were many days and nights where I found myself stood willing myself to open the formula.

Then there's the issue of having huge breasts - yes, huge!! Pre-pregnancy I struggled to fill a B cup, whilst breastfeeding a DD was snug. Mr M loved them - obviously - I hated them! What use were they other than as a means of feeding my child? They certainly didn't improve our (infrequent) sex life - every time he went near them he ended up covered in milk, hhhmmm built in defence system?

I don't miss the constant wet patches that developed whenever I heard the girls (or any child) crying, I don't miss wearing black to hide the aforementioned wet patches, but which would show every snail trail from the girls wiping their nose or drooling on me. I don't miss getting confused between my bra's and the new garden hammock (yes they were THAT big).

I do miss the closeness that I would feel every time I fed the girls. I do miss the eye contact that we shared. I do miss being the only person who could sooth the girls (OK, not so much when it was the middle of the night). I do miss being able to squirt my husband in the most inappropriate situations (I know, but I still find it funny).
I miss being a Human Milk Machine!

10 years from now....

Charlie had to do a piece of homework for English over the holidays, where he had to write a biography of his life 10 years from now. I often worry that he takes me and Mr M for granted and feel that we often come second best. But after helping him last night with his homework I am feeling reassured. Here's a few sentences.....

....' I'm happy, healthy and really settled. Mr M's just celebrated his birthday by running his 18th marathon, Cruella is still waiting desperately for Randall to propose - don't think he has any intentions! My little brother, Woody is a computer nerd, but makes lot of money!
Randall is now living off of his son's fame and my (not so wicked) step-mum (Me!) has just beat Dad in the marathon for the first time ever - Dad's not happy but what does he expect at 50?!'
'.....Lola has just completed 10 A* GCSE's at 13 and will be taking 4 A levels next year, whilst Dora is a fantastic actress and has been approached by Hollywood'
'....Randall's daughter is off at uni and we don't see her much, whilst his son is a famous sports personality - so he should be with the money they spent on him (only him) for private coaching!'

God I love that boy!

Weight loss after breastfeeding

I can't believe that I can actually fit into Mr M's jeans - I've not been able to do this since we got married!
Since 9th June 2008 I have dropped in weight from 12st 8lb to 9st 12lb, mostly due to being extremely ill with not one but 3 rare diseases and I stopped breastfeeding Dora in August.
What I can't understand is how other people say breastfeeding makes you loose weight - with both Lola and Dora I lost weight after the birth but once breastfeeding was established I put weight back on! Maybe I just over ate, or more feasibly, I refused to diet whilst breastfeeding.

So whatever the cause, is it wrong for me to be really pleased that I can fit my skinny little arse in to Mr M's jeans? Is it even more wicked that whilst I am shrinking, Cruella is spreading - wide load coming through!! Don't you just love Karma?