2009

I pulled the short straw and have to work the new year, so I wont be on line to wish you all the best for 2009.

As for me...... I willbe putting a lot of thought into what I want from 2009 & what I'm going to have to do to get it. Watch this space - Mrs M is on a mission!!!

Destination Scotland

Have you ever been totally wrong about a person? I like to think I'm a good judge of character and my gut instincts very rarely let me down, however when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong.

Many moons ago my path crossed with that of Mrs G and man, did I hate the woman on sight? I took an instant dislike to her, really tried to avoid being in her company at all costs and thats how it stayed for a while.
As the days and months passed I have found that the more dealing that I had with Mrs G I began to doubt my instincts - could I have been so very wrong about this woman?
In the summer of 2005 Mrs G found herself to be pregnant after a lengthy battle with infertility and no-one was happier for her than I. As I was pregnant with Lola at this time we found that we had much more in common and began to spend more time together. Mrs G miscarried her baby at 14 weeks and I was so devastated for her. I totally understood when she couldn't stand to see me, still pregnant.
When Lola was born Mrs G was amazing and although her heart must have ached for what she had lost, she was there each and every time that I needed her. Our friendship blossomed and I can honestly say that she is a true friend in every sense of the word.

Mrs G became the proud mother of twins Mini Muz and Smidge in March 2007 and I hope that I was there for her when she needed me. Then when I had Dora in September 2007, despite having baby twins herself, she batch cooked beautiful meals for my family, made the 1 hour drive and even them in the freezer for me - she really is a star.

Today Mrs G, Mini Muz and Smidge have been to visit. We exchanged Christmas gifts and the kids played together for a few hours, we've had lunch and then we said our goodbyes - nothing out of the ordinary there.......

.......except that Mr and Mrs G, Mini Muz and Smidge are moving on Monday. They came to visit today whilst the removal people were packing up there home. They have took the plunge and decided to move to the very north of Scotland. They are going to a beautiful part of the country in the hope of a fantastic lifestyle for each of them. I really do wish them well and whilst I know there are telephones, e mail, postal services etc,l I can't help but feel that I am losing someone special.

Mrs G, you mean the world to me. I adore your kids and you have an amazing husband. You have been a fantastic friend and someone who I will hold close in my heart for the rest of my life. Regardless of the distance between us and the fact that you always call me a nick name that I hate - but from you I find it endearing!!

Love you hon,

Mrs M x

Last minute me

Why do I leave Christmas shopping to the last freaking minute?

Tonight I am sat stressing about all that I have to do tomorrow - I still have several presents to buy and like old mother Hubbard my cupboards are bare!

So, plan of action.......
Phase 1: Alarm clock is set for 3am so I can go to Tesco food shopping. I'll get back just in time for Mr M getting up for work.
Phase 2: I can shower & get dressed before Lola & Dora get up.
Phase 3: Get the girls up & dressed then head off to their Godmother's to exchange gifts (luckily I have bought hers!)
Phase 4: Convince said Godmother to mind the girls whilst I nip to the shopping outlet to buy ridiculous, expensive and useless last minute gifts.
Phase 5: Collect Lola & Dora and drive home.
Phase 6: Feed, bathe and get the girls to bed (praying the settle well)
Phase 7: Cook for Mr M, Charlie and Woody who will be ariving home about 8pm. Open the wine!
Phase 8: After the boys are in bed, wrap all the presents, including the ridiculous, expensive and useless last minute ones purchased earlier
Phase 8a: Huff and tutt at MR M for being useless at Wrapping.
Phase 9: Wish I'd not opened the bottle of wine at Phase 7
Phase 10: Finishing touches..... sprinkles, footprints, mince pies and sherry for Santa
Phase 11: Crash into bed and pray that sleep comes quickly (only 3 hours until the first cries of 'Santa's been'


I love Christmas - just wish I were more prepared. But hey, I'm the same every year & we always have a blast!

Merry Christmas to you all. xx

Home Alone

Today I cried - big, fat tears with uncontrollable sobs!

Mr M & I had a wonderful 5 days with Lola and Dora on our winter break. The girls loved all the wildlife and Lola went on two pony rides - she's a natural. She looked so darn cute and had her picture taken for next years brochure! We came home yesterday on such a high & couldn't wait to see the boys today.

Cruella dropped them off at 1pm and by 1.15pm the tears wouldn't stop.
We'd told her in February that she would have to make arrangements for the boys for this week, yet just a few weeks ago she claimed she didn't know we were going away. Sorry F*ck Face, but I've got the e mail delivery confirmation that clearly states you recieved and opened the email & just to be doubly sure, I handed Randall a copy of all of our booked holidays for 2008. Sorry, but my eyes are not painted on!
So the reason for the tears? Woody (10 years old) had the winter vomiting flu Monday and Tuesday with a spiking temperature of 40 degrees. What did Cruella do....... she went to work 8am till 8pm!
She left him home alone - both freaking days! But wait, don't condemn the evil bitch of an excuse for a mother just yet, please hear her plea.....
'Woody wasn't home alone all day, Randall called at home evry 4-6 hours to give him paracetamol to try to get his tempertaure down'.

Whoopyfuckingdo!

Mr M & I feel like crap now, and in some part feel that we should not have left the boys with her on our contact days. But what we fear most is that if she is willing to leave him home alone when he is obviously very poorly, she will not have second thoughts about leaving him home alone at any other time. What beaks my heart most is that neither of the boys can see any harm in what Cruella has done.

So Monday morning will bring a elephone call to social services and our solicitor - we just can't let this one go. Are we totally off the mark here?

See you on Friday

Tomorrow Mr M, Lola, Dora and I leave for our winter break. We are off here for 5 days and I am so excited!

I'm sure I'll have loads to update you on when I get back - like Cruella is going to let us have 5 days of peace & quiet?!

She should be ashamed of herself!

Charlie's school trousers - sent for him to wear from Cruella - remember this?

The other leg! Like I would honestly send him in these? I sat & lovingly sewed a nice hem on them yesterday, so they are now 4" shorter & fit him a treat!

The crossing out in Charlie's homework book (remember this and this)- accidental my arse!!

The final straw!

Our day with Charlie

Today we took Charlie to visit his favourite Football Club - a late birthday gift as Cruella would not let him come over last weekend....
Anyway, Woody stayed with Cruella (another tale for another post) whilst Lola and Dora stayed with my mum.

So off we tootled this morning, just me, Mr M and Charlie. We had breakfast out, were able to have a 3 hour car journey without having to stop to use the toilet, pick up something that has been dropped or change a stinky nappy - heaven!
We arrived at the stadium and were able to look around the museum, trophy room and stand without having to negotiate a double buggy, listen to 'I'm bored 30 times', listen to 'Can I play my DS?', stop to use the toilet, pick up something that has been dropped or change a stinky nappy - heaven!
We then drove to the Docks and were able to enjoy hot chocolate and cakes without having to negotiate a double buggy, find a clean highchair, find a table big enough to take 6 + said highchair, listen to 'can I play on my DS?', have numerous visits to the toilets/changing room, repeat 'sit down Lola and est your cake' 30 times, having to avoid the glares of those on the next tables because Dora is just so loud - and Lola has to be louder! - Heaven!!

All in all, we had a fantastic day, Charlie smiled all day long and has never stopped talking about it. I honestly think we need to make more of an effort to spend time with the children on a 1:1 basis, as much for me & Mr M as for them.

Pistols at Dawn!

Cruella,
You've crossed the line yet again - will you ever take your head out of your backside and live in the real world?
Not only did you fail to tell us about Charlie's 1st football match today - my mistake you sent a lovely picture of him to Mr M 30 minutes after kick off, not giving us enough time to get there.
Yesterday was Charlie's birthday (happy birthday honey) and knowing that we would be patiently waiting to see him today when he was supposed to arrive at 4pm, you sent a text message at 4.05pm saying he wouldn't be here until 5.30pm as Randall was running late and wouldn't be able to drop the boys off until 5.30pm. Like we were going to stand for that?
When Mr M phoned to tell you that Charlie's friends were here waiting for him (we'd invited them for tea) you were most disgruntled that you would have to get out of bed and bring him.
Then to top it all off, you have freaking crossed my signature out of his homework diary again and signed your name next to mine. WTF is that all about? I wouldn't mind so much (ok, I would) but I support him to do his homework every week, I check the homework he has done at yours that you can't be bothered to check and probably wouldn't understand anyway - I then support him to correct it. I sign his book every Wednesday morning and date my signature to indicate I am signing for work completed at our house up to Wednesday.
So where do you get off?
I have tried so hard to have no contact with you, you are blocked from my mobile and I don't do any handovers with you - but today, seeing your fat arse and miserable face (difficult to tell the two apart) I could have ran out of my door and knocked ten bells of crap out of you.
I hate you so much, but even more I hate myself for letting you upset me and getting me in such a state.
I hope the Karma Bus tootles your way soon you pathetic excuse for a mother!!

From,
Mrs M - the one who gives a damn (not that you would know what that means!)

Second Guessing

I am sick of trying to second guess Cruella and the depth she will sink to to make life difficult for Mr & and I.
Mr M has had his papers issued to say that he will be deployed to Afghanistan in October 2009. Thinking we should get things in order (you just never know) we have been trying to second guess Cruella and her behaviour, not only when he tells her, but also when he has gone. My head and heart hurt and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this.
We have taken legal advice and basically we have several options:-

• File for a residence order which states Mr M and I to have 50% care. With this I would gain parental rights and responsibilities
• File for parental rights and responsibilities
• Do nothing and deal with any issues when (if) they arise

We initially thought the residence order would be the best option, but with a £5000 plus tag and no guarantees that Cruella wouldn't revoke it the minute Mr M leave the country.....

We then thought the parental rights and responsibilities was the way to go, but again with a £2500 tag and the bomb shell that follows I'm not so sure!

As it stands as soon as I accept parental rights and responsibilities I also accept financial responsibility for the boys until they are 18yrs. In itself this is nothing as I provide for them anyway...... but the minute Mr M leaves the country, Cruella could revoke contact and file for full maintenance from me. Also if Mr M were not to return or if we were to separate at a later date, Cruella can withhold contact from me but still file for full maintenance until the boys reach 18yrs and I would be 100% liable!

So do we carry on second guessing and trying to plan for all eventualities or do we just deal with the crap should it arise?

Wet rain?

Walking out of the supermarket - into a spectacular downpour - I overheard a conversation between two elderly chaps & it just tickled me.

Chap 1 - Shall we wait under the porch for a while?
Chap 2 - We could do, but we could be stuck here for a while if this rain continues.
Chap 1 - Perhaps we should just head for the bus stop?
Chap 2 - We could do, but we'd get soaked - it's raining that wet rain!

Laughing to myself I dashed to my car and after unloading my trolley, clambered into the driving seat absolutely soaked to my skin.
I guess he was right - it was the wet rain after all!!

We all need an Em

I think it should be compulsory for us all to have someone like my dear friend Em in our lives.
I could use so many words to describe her and still they wouldn't do her justice. I could share many experiences with you and still you'd only get a snap shot of her inner beauty.
You see Em is one of those ladies that until you get to know her, you just can't quite sum her up. Yes she can be a bit ditsy at times and has the most amazing sense of humour. She will share her own heartache to try o show you a way out of your own. She is compassionate but never patronising. Em also has another side to her character, she can be the most professional and articulate person you'd ever get the pleasure of working with. She's not a quick fix type of person and will never give an easy answer just to cross another task off her list - I never feel short changed!

Em is such a rare find, she is honest (even when it hurts), she is so good at what she does, that rather than make me feel inferior, she inspires me. In every sense Em is a nurturer, she knows just what to say to get you through the hard times and she gives the most amazing advice, support and encouragement.

Em, I just wanted to say that yes you are nice, and kind and sweet and softly spoken - but honey you are so much more and for that I am truly honoured to call you my friend.

Happy Birthday sweetheart

My little girl, Lola, celebrated her 3rd birthday yesterday. Yikes - I can't believe she is 3!! She was so excited opening her gifts yesterday morning, it's bizarre that she now knows you just 'rip' the paper off (in two seconds flat!!). We bought her some roller skates (the ones where you keep your shoes on and they adjust as your feet grow) and she has already mastered the art of 'skating' - I do find it amazing that she has fantastic balance and co-ordination already (she certainly doesn't get it from me!).
What really touched me was when Charlie (in his lunch break at school) sent a message to Mr M yesterday asking him to wish Lola Happy Birthday. He is so thoughtful.

I thought about sharing a few memories with you, but to be honest I couldn't pick just a few. Then I thought I'd share her birth story with you, but I just can't find the folder where I saved it to! So instead I will just say:

Happy birthday Sweetheart - Mummy loves you more each day.

Sisters

I recieved this card from my big Sis G

The True Spirit of Sisters

Sisters can be sweet sometimes
and not so sweet other times.
They can be silly and fun
or serious and demanding....

They can be happy and easygoing
or a bit grumpy and hardheaded.
But whatever words you use
to describe sisters,
you can never really capture
their true spirit, because.....

A sister's true spirit
is found in her sensitive
and caring feelings that
are there when you need them.

That's just the way sisters are.

And, Sister, I hope
the next time you stop
and think of me,
you'll remember how much
I care about you
and know that we'll always
be close;
We'll always have each other.

Yes, I did cry!

I am Thankful for...

Today I join in the tradition of Thanksgiving - I've done this since finding my friends 4 years ago. As I think about my life I realise, as stressful as it is at times, I have lots to be thankful for:-

• My husband and children
• My parents and sisters
• My friends - near and far
• My health (as poor as it has been, I'm more fortunate than some)
• My financial stability in such an unstable climate
• My compassion and tolerance of others
• Wine for when the above is not an option!

I'd rather be.....

I've got exactly 3 minutes before I have to leave for work, but quite frankly I'd rather be:-

• Staying at home blogging
• On a beach, somewhere warm
• Playing with my children
• Spending time with Mr M
• Doing the ironing - ok perhaps not but it does beat going to work!

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH - Update.

So Mr M & I spoke with Charlie on his return from school today, to try to figure out what the hell Cruella is up to. He could offer the following:-

• Cruella crossed my signature out of the school/home log as the section clearly states 'Signature of Parent/Carer' and in her opinion I am neither. Charlie said that she had told him it would be ok for Mr M to sign, but under no circumstance should I sign. I should feedback any in put I have had to Mr M and he is to sign the log. Like that is going to happen. Whoops! After completing his Algebra homework tonight I signed his log in two places just to F*ck her off!! Numbers have no meaning to her unless they have £ signs in front of them so there is no fear she will be helping with maths!
• The boots were returned because I had bought them and she didn't need me to buy her children stuff. Hmm, I can pay her £37,000 debts, I can fund her £400 monthly Child maintenence, I can pay her car loan, I can buy the boys Christmas presents when she is too tight to, I can buy back Mr M's possessions that she has sold - but I can't buy Charlie some football boots?

Anyone else thinking that this piece of work is feeling threatened and trying to gain the control of the responsibility she has actively avoided for the last 8 years?

Business as usual then!

AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Did I tell you how much I hate Cruella? No, but I bet you had an inkling!

So Charlie and Woody arrived yesterday (whilst I was at work) and on my return this morning I was greeted with a pile of their stuff that needed sorting. Within said pile was the brand new boot bag, football boots, shin pads and socks I bought for Charlie last week- refresh yourself with this. So as they had left for school before I got home I have no idea what they are doing here - believe me when I say that I fear the worst in all situations relating to Cruella. I will update you all later!

Also within the pile of stuff was Charlie's school/home log. As it tends to be me that does his homework with him - lets face it complex fractions are beyond Cruella - I always sign his log on a Wednesday morning and date it. Can you believe that the F***ing Bitch has crossed my name out on every page and signed her own chicken scrawl - WTF?? I am so freaking angry right now, that if I had one ounce less of self control I would drive over and whoop her fat arse!

So your guess is as good as mine, what on earth is she playing at? One thing is for sure, I'm playing the long game and will continue to sign his log every week no matter what she does. I figure she is only making herself look stupid and putting Charlie in a potentially awkward position - what's he supposed to say when his tutor asks what it's all about? "Sorry Miss, it's just my Mum being a complete and utter T*at?
So if she wants a reaction she's not going to get one , I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

Whats in a name?

Now that I've started to explore the land of blogging I'm begining to wonder if I should 'name' my significant others?

I know that I need to maintain my anonymity, but feel detched when I refer to my family as him, her, she etc.

Any thoughts?

My Mother letter

Dear Mother,

As a young, ambitious and selfish woman I never wanted to put anyone before myself. I never wanted to have to share or compromise. I never wanted to have to plan or give up being spontaneous. Quite frankly I never wanted to be a mother.
At 23 my 1st marriage ended and some months later I met my now husband. He came as a package with two small boys (4,2) and an ex-wife who is the worst mother I have had the misfortune to meet.
Suddenly, all of the things I'd never wanted where there on a plate - for me to take or tip away. I chose to take them.
As the days turned into weeks, then months, then years I realised that being a mother meant all and none of the things that I feared. We had the boys live with us 50% of the time and for 50% of my time I was a great mum, for the other 50% I was still young, ambitious and selfish. Not ideal, but it worked.

In 2003 we started trying for a baby to extend our family and after several miscarriages and the heartache that no woman should have to endure I finally carried a baby full term. Although I would never chose to go through the pain of trying to concieve and infertility, I can honestly say it did make me realise just how much I wanted to have a child and be a mother. I also made some amazing friends along the way, who still support me in my journey being a mother!

In 2005 I gave birth to my eldest daughter, thinking I was prepared for what lay ahead - I couldn't have been more wrong. Why I thought being a 50% mum would prepare me for being a 100% mum I will never know! The first few months were tough, I'm not afraid to say that I struggled - often - but we got through it, together. As my daughter grew and developed into her own little self I began to see what being a mother is all about. In 2007 I gave birth to my second daughter and things were so much better this time round. I didn't expect it all to be rosy and I was prepared for the pitfalls!!

In the early days I thought that being a step-mum really didn't prepare me for being a mum. People had always told me that I may have loved the boys, but when I had my own children I would love them more. Honestly? Yes, having the girls did change things, I do feel differently towards the boys. But do I love them any less? Not a chance!
Having the girls made me realise just how precious a gift I'd been given in all four of my children.
It also made me realise that being a mother has nothing to do with the act of giving birth, it's what you do when you are with the children that matters. It's how you support them in becoming themselves, it's how you teach them about whats right and wrong, it's how you influence their morals and values. For me being a mother is about giving a piece of me to each child. It's about picking up the pieces when it all goes wrong, then showing them the right way, it's about remembering that each day will pass and you will never get the chance to have it back.I feel blessed to be called a mother and I am sure you do too.

Love,
Mrs M

Mother letter.

Oh my lord, I have just read this and have goosebumps.

The guy (I want one of those) who has started this project, on Blogher, has to be the most romantic and insightful men I have ever stumbled across. He is taking the effort to put together such an amazing gift for his wife and wants mothers of every kind to write their letters, so he can present them as words of encouragement to his wife - man I could cry, he is too thoughtful.

I honestly think this could be huge and I'm sure if a good publisher gets a whif they will snap up the idea in a shot.
OK, off to write my letter.

Wedding to die for????

Please check out this . I'd love to hear your comments - when you've stopped laughing enough to post, that is!!

Hey, you found me!

Like I fool, in my attempt to maintain anonymity I forgot to change the blog spot web address - which has my full name in it - DOH!!


I hope I've not lost anyone? So I really am dim, if you don't know I've changed the address, how would you be reading this post? Double DOH!!

Mrs M x

Happiness

"Happiness is whatever I decide it will be, and only if I remember to allow myself to have it."



Thankyou Crys for reminding me that I am in control of my own happiness.

UK size 12 - my arse!

Charlie made a comment about me buying new clothes. I've lost close to 3 stone since June and therefore even with the aid of a big belt - my trousers were falling down and my tops made me look like a 5 year old playing dress up.

So, as we were shopping he turned to me and the conversation was as follows:

Him: What size are you looking for?
Me: Size 10 mate.
Him: Just a size 10?
Me: Yes, why would I buy another size?
Him: Oh, OK. It's just that Mum's (Cruella) a size 12, but sometimes she has to buy a 14 or 16 for comfort.

Laugh, lord I ran into that changing room quicker than a shot! Cruella has an arse the size of a small country and there is no way on this earth she could fit one cheek into a size 12!! Little man has no idea that he just made my day with his honest and innocent comment - out of the mouths of babes.....

Just for fun

Crys did a book meme and left it open for others to do, so I thought that since it’s Friday and i'm home alone i'd give it a go. Here are the instructions:

• Grab the nearest book
  Open to pg. 56
  Find the fifth sentence
  Post the text of the sentence on your blog with these instructions
  Don’t dig for your favorite book, or the most intellectual one. It has to be the closest one.

So here's mine (it took a while finding a book with over 5 pages and with more than 2 words per page!!) This was taken from 'A treasury of Fairy Tales. A majical collection of timeless stories':-

' Then, his cruel wife had a terrible idea: "tomorrow at sunrise, we take Hansel and Gretel very deep into the enchanted forest and leave them there".

Hhhhmmmm, have had the very same thought many times!

I'm a bit gutted that I didn't 'think' to pick a book that just might mak me look a little intelligent, but I'm afraid that any book that would fit this is safely packed away and the shelves are littered with *Harry Potter* *Horrid Henry* and anything with princesses and fairies!

I can't give it away!

When I was pregnant with Lola we were so lucky to have kind friends who gave us lots and lots of baby stuff. I don't see the point in spending £££'s when I'd been given perfectly good stuff for free.

In the same spirit I have passed many items onto friends and they too have been grateful. Now that Dora has passed the 'baby' stage I have lots more stuff washed and packed up - many items are still in the original box:-

• Mama's and Papa's car seat - cost £150 and used for 4 months
• Bumbo seat - boxed as new
• Steam sterilizer - Boxed as new
• Annabel Karmel weaning kit - blended, ramekins, measuring spoons, pots all boxed as new
• NUK bottles and teats - unopened
• 2 hanging rails full of baby clothes - washed and like new

I know several young girls who are pregnant with girls and I have offered all of the above items and so much more - for free. Given the current financial climate, and I know that these girls are low earners, I'd have thought they would have snapped my hands off......... not a chance!! Neither of them want to have second hand stuff for their babies and would rather spend money they don't have to buy new!

You just can't help some people, I know it's nice to have new but in today's climate I'd be grabbing anything that was offered to me!

A freaking mouse!

I had a swift exit from the land of blogging last night due to an un-invited guest in my lounge - a brazen freaking mouse!

We live in a rural location and are surrounded by fields, I accept we have the odd 'cute' field mouse in the garages, but in the house????

So in the height of comedy, I arm myself with a cardboard photograph tube and a very large cardboard box. After 1/2 an hour jumping on the sofa (armed) getting a pep talk (in between the uncontrollable laughter from him and my mum as he relays the situation and my squeels to her) from my dad (over the phone as he's an hours drive away). I get brave and eventuallly herd the said mouse into the huge box - which I guard (through the window after putting it outside) until my husband arrives home to set it free in the next field.

What if the little blighter has set a trail and comes back tonight?

Laugh - my sides are splitting!

My eldest step son has just been signed on with the local football team - We are so proud given the fact that he's not that great a player and we constantly have to explain the off side rule to him.... I digress.....
He has football kit for school (which he uses on Wednesdays) and he has been using these boots and shin pads for his training sessions (Saturdays). When he arrives at ours - either Saturday lunch or Sunday evening - his kit bag always stinks, and I mean really stinks! His boots and pads are always soaking wet and placed back into his muddy boot bag along with the rest of his kit (ok, you get the smell?).
So this weekend I took him to buy new boots, socks, shin pads and boot bag. with the idea being that he uses one set for Wednesdays and one set for Saturdays - each can be washed properly and have time to dry out before being placed in the bag. I know it seems extravagant but when Cruella is leaving wet boots in a bag from Wednesday to Saturday........ then expects him to wear them (still wet) on Saturdays I draw the line.

So the long and short of it is he has two sets and there is no excuse for either set to stink. I explained this to him, telling him it's his responsibility to clean his kit and put them in the airing cupboard to dry. He took it all in and with such seriousness he asked:
'Should I tell mum not to spray them with febreeze now?'

It tuns out that she doesn't actually 'wash' anything. She knocks the mud off then drowns everything in febreeze.
I'm still laughing just thinking about her lazy fat arse!!

Who needs toys when you have a box?

Lola and Dora had so much fun with this box - too funny! I wish I'd thought to film it when they first stated playing, Dora was hilarious, jumping up to shout boo - but she couldn't even see over the top of the box!!

Room for a little one?

This is what Lola's bed looks like - how does she find room for herself?

Oooh, Blog make-over giveaway.

Ruby & Roja are giving away a free Blog make-over for a whole year! Check out the label to the left.

Pure Evil !!!

I'm not sure if you have heard the heartbreaking story of Baby P I found it so hard to read, I cried from start to finish. At 17 months old he died a long and lonely death - this case has sickened me to the core and made me question the society that I live in. How could such a shocking case of Child abuse go unnoticed?

Please say a prayer for Baby P and I hope that for the first time he is at peace. I would urge everyone reading this to please act on any concerns you may have, whether you think it's your business of not. Perhaps if friends, neighbours or family members had spoken out Baby P's life could have been very different.

I just can't win!

Remember this?

So today Woody came home from school with a half full lunch bag (see the optimist in me there??). He had left his sandwiches and a small chocolate cake. This is the conversation that followed:

Me: Why have you left half of your lunch?
Him: I didn't fancy ham sandwiches again.
Me: Oh, picky are we? What's wrong with ham?
Him: Well, we have a lot of meat in our school lunch and I'm a bit bored of it.
Me (Snorting like a crazed bull): Some children have never tasted ham, let alone have it in such abundance they are bored of it! As for having it too often, last week you had Tuna on Monday, Roast beef on Tuesday and Turkey on Wednesday - so what's the problem with ham?
Him: Nothing, I just fancy a change.
Me: So what would you like instead? What do you have on Thursdays and Fridays when your Mum does your pack-up?
Him: Chocolate spread or cheese paste.
Me: So you'd rather have that than fresh meat and fish? Ok, so why didn't you eat the chocolate cake?
Him: It's unhealthy!
Me (making a lunge for the wine bottle): Your Dad will do your lunch tomorrow - talk to him about it!

Some days I feel like I just can't win. What really pissed me off was that he sat stuffing his face with poached egg on toast (which I had made) this morning at 07.00hrs, watched me make his sandwiches and he said nothing!!

CT Scan

It could only happen to me!

Yesterday I spent the day divided between A&E and the observation ward at the County Hospital. Lola headbutted me (accidentally) and I ended up in such a state!
With a very sore ( broken) nose, vomiting and a headache to rival all headaches, my husband decided I needed medical attention. After 3 hours in A&E the consultant decided that I needed close observations and a CT scan - WTF??

Thankfully after an injection (in my jacksie!) I stopped vomiting and the pain killers kicked in, I started to feel somewhere near ok. The CT scan showed that I do in fact have a brain and thankfully it looks normal - looks can be deceptive though!!!!

My mum, the Star, came into her own again yesterday. She collected the girls and has kept them at her house all yesterday, last night, all today and tonight - just to allow me to rest - God I have been blessed with the best mum ever!

Me - apart from nursing a headache and a bruised nose - I'm a okay!!

Karma!

So the Karma bus has well and truly struck Cruella's fat arse!

With Christmas approaching she has been dragging her heels and yet again trying to make it all about her - BIG mistake! Having avoided working for the past (forever) 8 years, she has to work this Christmas day. Again trying to dictate what will happen she told Mr M today what She wanted to happen etc etc (yep, he was bored too).
I love that man more each day, since I have taken a back step he has grown some Bo**ocks and now stands up to her. So as she stands there (fat ass wobbling) he turns to Charlie and Woody and asks if her plans are what they want too. Can you believe they totally blew her out!!!
Yee Haaa!!! The boys told her that they did not want to be messed about on Christmas day just to suit her and that she could make Christmas eve their Christmas day & they would be with us Christmas day until the 30th December!

Sounds like Cruell has pee'd off one too many of the men in my life - Man, I love all 3 of them and I'm so looking forward to Christmas.

Beep, Beep!!!!!

My Blog is fabulous!

So Kami - http://themurphy4.blogspot.com/ left me a comment saying she has a little something something for me in her blog.

I'd just like to thank Kami for her kind nomination & in accepting this award...

So, here are the rules to receiving this award:
1. You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous blogs in a post.
2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.
3. You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.
Instructions:On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them. When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well. To add the award to your post, simply right-click, save image, then "add image" it in your post as a picture so your winners can save it as well. To add it to your sidebar, add the "picture" gidget.Also, don't forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by emailing them or leaving a comment on their blog.
So, although I have so many blogs I read, I can only pick 5. My award goes to these five fabulous blogs:
Jenn
Kami
Minnie
Dianne
Shannon


My five addictions are:
1. Being a mother
2. Changing my hair style and colour
3. Checking my Blog
4. Checking the Blogs I read
5. Wine

Mum - you are a star!

So as bad as the Outlaws are, my Mum is a star!

Growing up I didn't have much time for her, or a civil word to say to her - sorry mum. During my first marriage I didn't think she was good enough and found fault in everything she did - yet when it all came crashing down who do you think picked up the pieces and put me back together?
I can honestly she she is the best mum ever (despite pretending to have stopped smoking and sneaking the odd one here & there.... yes we know and pretend we don't so that you don't go back to smoking 20+ per day!)
She is always there for us, thinks nothing of driving the 1 hour to us just to make me a cup of tea and do my ironing (yes, she really does!).
When I had the Lola and Dora she would make the journey 3-4 times every week to do the washing & ironing and make dinner for us.
When I was unwell over the summer she would take the girls to let me rest up, she would go to appointments with me and she would look after all 6 of us for days on end when I couldn't get out of bed.
She will have the girls over night just to give us a night off and allow us a good nights sleep (yeh, right !!)
She will come over and take Charlie and Woody to school when I have to be at work early - an hour journey each way - with the girls - twice a day isn't much fun, but she never complains.
She has agreed to have the girls for the whole week so that my husband & I can go on holiday together for a week.
I know I probably sound really selfish and seem like I expect so much from her. But honestly, I don't know what I would do without her. If I'm half as good a mum as she is, I will be very proud.

The Out Laws

Did I ever tell you about my mother & father in law?
To cut a (very) long story short lets just say they are two of the most selfish and self centred individuals that I know. They have seen my children twice in the last 14 months, despite both being retired an living about 10 minutes away. They wont come and visit unless I cook for them and wait on them hand and foot (With 4 children I now flatly refuse - not that they offer to come much) They have seen Dora twice since she was born and she is now 14months old.
They wouldn't come and visit last Christmas - the only time we have never drove to them as we didn't have a car big enough to carry all six of us after I swerved to miss a pigeon and damaged our people carrier on Christmas eve- whoops - the excuse being they didn't want to leave their house on Christmas day. Oh, so it ok for us to drag the kids away from their toys then to visit you?

They will not help out with babysitting at all - the one and only time we asked they agreed on the basis that I paid them the same £43 daily rate I pay for nursery - WTF?
So, they have earned the title of the outlaws, as they too rob you blind!!

Way back when.......part 7

Catch up with this

So my heart ruled my head and Mr M moved back into our home the very next day. Cruella was not a happy bunny and moved heaven and earth to make life difficult for us. I had explicit cards mailed to me, vile text messages and letters that would have made the most liberal of people blush. However, Cruella is terrible at spelling and made the same mistakes on all of the 'annonymous' mail. She also made the same mistakes on the written demands for more money she sent us - Doh!!

The financial demands continued to the point where enough was enough and we reduced these to half of what Mr M was earning, however greed took over (can you see the pattern?) and our offer was not enough. She filed a claim with CSA and they awarded her Zilch, nothing, absolutely F*ck all!!

So finances sorted (we still provided everything the Charlie and Woody needed, just not with Cruella scraping off her share) we got on with our lives and the next few years were great.

Impulsive, who me?

Today I booked a holiday. No thought - I just booked it!
On 2nd May 2009, Mr M and I will fly out to a small Greek Island for a week of R&R - no kids!!! My mum has agreed (good job as I'd already booked it - whoops!) to have Lola & Dora and Cruella will have to make arrangements for the Charlie and Woody, she dashes off here, there and everywhere so it makes a change for it to be us.
I'm so excited already. Wonder what Mr M's reaction will be when I tell him?

The kids won't miss out, we're taking them to France and EuroDisney in August 09.

10 Things......

.....you probably don't know about me.
Just for fun!
1. I was born on the same day as my big sister G - only five years later
2. I am a Gemini
3. I can play the bagpipes!!! (stop laughing)
4. I was born in Scotland (explains No 3?)
5. I dislike cats
6. I hate Marmite
7. I've never lived alone
8. I've never been unemployed
9. I've run the London marathon twice
10. I'm very impulsive

Redundant Human Milk Machine

My dear friend Jenn has emailed a few questions asking about my Breastfeeding experiences. Am I weird to miss being a human milk machine?

I breastfed both Lola and Dora and whilst I did this through informed choice, I'd never say it was easy. There were many days and nights where I found myself stood willing myself to open the formula.

Then there's the issue of having huge breasts - yes, huge!! Pre-pregnancy I struggled to fill a B cup, whilst breastfeeding a DD was snug. Mr M loved them - obviously - I hated them! What use were they other than as a means of feeding my child? They certainly didn't improve our (infrequent) sex life - every time he went near them he ended up covered in milk, hhhmmm built in defence system?

I don't miss the constant wet patches that developed whenever I heard the girls (or any child) crying, I don't miss wearing black to hide the aforementioned wet patches, but which would show every snail trail from the girls wiping their nose or drooling on me. I don't miss getting confused between my bra's and the new garden hammock (yes they were THAT big).

I do miss the closeness that I would feel every time I fed the girls. I do miss the eye contact that we shared. I do miss being the only person who could sooth the girls (OK, not so much when it was the middle of the night). I do miss being able to squirt my husband in the most inappropriate situations (I know, but I still find it funny).
I miss being a Human Milk Machine!

10 years from now....

Charlie had to do a piece of homework for English over the holidays, where he had to write a biography of his life 10 years from now. I often worry that he takes me and Mr M for granted and feel that we often come second best. But after helping him last night with his homework I am feeling reassured. Here's a few sentences.....

....' I'm happy, healthy and really settled. Mr M's just celebrated his birthday by running his 18th marathon, Cruella is still waiting desperately for Randall to propose - don't think he has any intentions! My little brother, Woody is a computer nerd, but makes lot of money!
Randall is now living off of his son's fame and my (not so wicked) step-mum (Me!) has just beat Dad in the marathon for the first time ever - Dad's not happy but what does he expect at 50?!'
'.....Lola has just completed 10 A* GCSE's at 13 and will be taking 4 A levels next year, whilst Dora is a fantastic actress and has been approached by Hollywood'
'....Randall's daughter is off at uni and we don't see her much, whilst his son is a famous sports personality - so he should be with the money they spent on him (only him) for private coaching!'

God I love that boy!

Weight loss after breastfeeding

I can't believe that I can actually fit into Mr M's jeans - I've not been able to do this since we got married!
Since 9th June 2008 I have dropped in weight from 12st 8lb to 9st 12lb, mostly due to being extremely ill with not one but 3 rare diseases and I stopped breastfeeding Dora in August.
What I can't understand is how other people say breastfeeding makes you loose weight - with both Lola and Dora I lost weight after the birth but once breastfeeding was established I put weight back on! Maybe I just over ate, or more feasibly, I refused to diet whilst breastfeeding.

So whatever the cause, is it wrong for me to be really pleased that I can fit my skinny little arse in to Mr M's jeans? Is it even more wicked that whilst I am shrinking, Cruella is spreading - wide load coming through!! Don't you just love Karma?

Cruella is Scrooge?

So Cruella does it again - picks her punches and throws them well.

Charlie and Woody spent Christmas morning with us last year for the first time and they absolutely loved it. This year they have asked to do the same again - come to us Christmas eve tea and go back to Cruella Christmas day at 3pm. We have said they are old enough to express their wishes and we would respect them.
Cruella, being the bitch she is, wont play ball - oh no, it's not about what they boys want! She will let them know what HER plans are when she has made them and they can tell us so that we can fit in around them.

Can you believe how selfish she is? The boys have pointed out to her that they don't want to be with her Christmas morning, looking at presents which they are not allowed to open until Randall's children arrive at 2pm, only for us to pick them up at 3pm. Yes, that's right - the wonderfully caring Cruella thinks nothing of making her own children wait to open their Christmas presents on Christmas morning as long as it fits with her plans!

Way back when....part 6

Catch up with this, this, this, this and this. Still with me?

Sunday afternoon blurred into Monday morning - which blurred into Tuesday afternoon! I couldn't believe how much my heart ached, I'd lived with Mr M for 10 weeks yet I was mourning him like I had known him forever. I can't begin to describe the torture I put myself through trying to analyse why he had done what he had done to me. Most of all I couldn't believe that I had not only watched my soul mate walk out of my life, I had also lost Charlie and Woody, whom I had grown to love dearly.
Going into work on the Tuesday I saw Mr M - bold as brass and looking like shit - at least I wasn't the only one! As he walked towards me I didn't dare hope that he would talk to me, I didn't think I could cope with him walking past me , yet how could I face him? I'd just made a huge fool of myself and here I was willing to do it all over again (if he'd give me the chance!).
I know this is slow, but hang in there - the good part is next.......

So picture me stood frozen to the spot (wishing I'd washed my hair and put some make-up on) and there's him, looking thin and gaunt. He was so lovely when he walked up to me and asked my permission to talk to me - like I would have refused? My heart was racing yet my mind was telling me to walk away - I couldn't be hurt again.
We took a walk and Mr M let it all out, how Cruella had turned up at their old house when he was clearing it up to hand back the keys. How she had told him that the Charlie and Woody cried for Daddy every night, how she missed him and only now realised just how much she loved him, how they planned his return to her!
He told me how he had waited for her to collect him from our home, how they had packed his bags into the car and posted the keys through the letter box, how he knew at that point he was making the biggest mistake of his life! Let me repeat that just in case you missed it first time....How he knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life!
He told me how he had got into the car with her and asked her to take him and his bags to his brothers house, he told me that he knew then that it was me he wanted to be with, he told me that Cruella was not impressed when he told her!

So Mr M had taken all of his things and stayed with his brother. Cruella was kicked into touch for the final time and here he was asking for a second chance.

Jamie Oliver she is not!

This is the packed lunch that Cruella sent our Woody to school with for his educational trip today. I'm sure you will appreciate the the chocolate spread sandwich, two packets (yes-two) of crisps, two 500ml bottles of sports drink and all of the other zero nutritional content items...... Need I say any more?

You are probably asking why I'm posting this? For years we have had battles with packed lunches - at one point I would buy the bread, fillings, fruit and juice to send to Cruella's with them for the week just to make sure they had something decent! In all honesty, I would have struggled to have eaten half, never mind all, of the above. So is it any wonder that it was still in his lunch bag when he got home tonight?

Jamie Oliver she certainly isn't - neglectful she certainly is!

Stalkers? Yes please!

So I've been blogging for a few weeks now & have a few returning faithfulls. I can't believe that anyone (let alone several people) would be interested in little old me and my life!
So, if you are stalking - expose yourself!

Soldier boy, home on leave!

Yeeehaaa! Mr M is home after 2 weeks (ok I know many ladies have their husbands away for much longer) and boy am I a happy bunny!

Lord, I missed him so much and couldn't wait to see him - so why have I done nothing but criticise him since he got home?

Anyway - looking forward to the bottle of Greek Red and the X Factor. I know I'm sad, but I will be so contented!

Welcome home honey - I sure have missed you!

Love me x
Oh and he loves my new hair cut - says I look very sexy!

Old and Fat?

Today I got lots of compliments on my new hair cut - people were so surprised I'd taken the plunge.

In with all the compliments came the realisation that I must have looked a right state before my hair cut for example:-

Viv: Wow you look fantastic Boss, it takes years off you!

Me: So I used to look old then?

Viv: No, I didn't mean that (keep digging), It's just that you look years younger and the cut makes you look so much slimmer.

Me: So not only did I look old, I also looked fat too?

Viv: (digging a huge hole) No that's not what I mean. Oh, bloody hell I should quit now!

How could I be angry with her for telling the truth?
Goodbye to the old. fat frump and hello to the new chic me!!

Move over Posh.... I've had a hair cut!

Today I took the plunge and had my hair well and truly cut!
I've gone for somewhere between Mrs Tom*Cruise and Mrs *Beckham and I love it. I feel so much younger and it really suits my face now that I've lost so much weight (27lb from 9th June).

Move over Posh.......

Oh, maybe I should maintain a degree of hesitancy as my wonderful Husband is still away and hasn't seen it yet (and Mr M really does not like women with short hair - whoops!)

I'm hooked!

I took Dianne's' advice and registered with a free Statistics company & boy am I hooked! It's just so amazing that I can see who has looked at my blog (OK, so it's mostly me but it's still exciting).
I've got this fab map thing that puts little tags on to show where any readers are located - I have 4 returning hits from the US and amazingly 3 from the UK.
Think I'm verging on being a nerd here.
Off to check again!!

My Big Sister G

I love her.
She is always there for me - no matter what.
She is an amazingly strong lady who has raised 3 wonderful boys single handed (I've struggled being on my own for just over 1 week).
She brings balance to my life - if I'm the yang then she is the ying.
We are not twins, but are Gemini's who are born on the same day - need I say more?

G, I love you sis.

Why am I crying?

Tonight I cried as I ironed the boys' school uniforms. I cried because for the first time ever they will go to school tomorrow in uniform that is too big, too small, too grey and too worn.

I've reached the point where I can no longer battle with Cruella over school uniforms, neither can I afford to keep buying more to replace the ones that go to her cave and never return. She has told me I do not need to be so involved - she's told me to butt out!

So we have made a decision - we will send the boys to school in whatever Cruella sends with them, regardless!

So tomorrow Charlie will go to school in trousers with an elasticated adjustable waist (he's almost 12 for goodness sake) that are at least 6 inches too long for him. His shirt is grey (should be white) and the collar is so crumpled it looks like a fashion shirt. He has no jumper so I hope it's mild.
The Woody will go to school in trousers which hit somewhere around the rim of his socks and have (almost) holes in both knees. His shirt is grey (should be white too) and has a lovely pink paint stain on the front. He too has no jumper.

My heart is breaking, I can't believe it has come to this. But we both agree that the boys are old enough to either tell Cruella the uniform she is sending is unsuitable or they have to realise it is not us who are letting them down. We've told them that they will go with whatever she sends and if she doesn't send any, then they will go in none uniform and she can explain to school why.

Are we so off the mark, what options do we have? Should we keep hiding their mothers neglect and leave them to think she is so darn wonderful and it is us who always create a fuss over nothing (as she regularly tells them)? Regardless, it doesn't make me feel any better knowing that my boys will leave here in the morning looking a state!

Cars 4 less = that cost more!

Did I tell you about the fab car I bought earlier this year? Did you see it?.....

No, that's right! I didn't have it long enough!

To cut a long story short I bought a used car in March 2008, it broke the day we bought it and has been with the wonderful (lly crap) garage who sold it to us ever since! After a long battle and a lot of financial outlay, I had my day in court today. Yippee

Actually, it's more like F*ck, F*ck, F*ck. The garage has now ceased trading, they have filed to dissolve the company and the debts die with the company. So, by paying £140 the directors of the company can wipe out their debts and move on. Meanwhile, I'm left with a £4000 hole in my pocket!

I pay my taxes, I live by the law and for what? I've been F*cked over by a dodgy second hand car salesman - and you wonder why I drink so much!

I just can't help myself.

Last night Charlie asked me to look at his Religious Education homework. He'd been given 2 weeks to complete the work and had managed to produce the grand total of 1 typed A4 page!
He had asked his Mum (Cruella) to check and she'd said it was fine, but he wanted to run it by me - 'as I'm good at this kind of thing' (and she's not?!!)

Not wanting to pee on his bonfire, I tell him the work he's done is really good, but I think we should add to it. So tonight we have spent a couple of hours researching the *Star of David* and Charlie has produced a fantastice piece of work, complete with reference pages and it is thermal binded (yes, I know he will be the envy of his class mates!). It is all his work, with just guidance and support from me.

I just can't help myself can I? How on earth can I take a back seat and allow him to hand in a scrappy A4 sheet when I know he is capable of so much more? More importantly, how can Cruella honestly tell him that he has done enough? This is where it is clear that we have completely different standards - and I'm not going to compromise mine!

It's still me!

You may (or may not) have noticed a few changes around here. I've decided to try to maintain the privacy of my family and myself by changing the identifiable details within my profile and posts. I'm sure after reading what we have had to put up with regarding Cruella - you will all agree that it's probably for the best.

Looking at things from a legal persective, nothing within my blog can be classed as liable or slander - as it's all true. But to avoid any (more) unnecessary unpleasantness I've opted for the changes.

I hope you understand - after all it's still me!

Fellow Bloggers please help

I read a number of blogs and follow others like a religion. I'd be interested to know who (if anyone) reads my blog and also the search terms which link people here.

Any advice on how I can find out this info - I know some of you do this, am I just a bit dumb?

If you love him,. let him go.

That's exactly what I did - I let him go. I didn't fight for him, I didn't make him feel bad, I just let him go.
He walked out of my life almost as quickly as he had entered it.

Me - I'd not only lost my soul mate, I'd also lost two little boys that I had grown to love so much. My heart was well and truly broken. I didn't feel that bad when my relationship had ended with my 1st husband after 10 years - lord I'd got it bad!

Way back when......part 5

Catch up with this .

Here's little naive me, falling madly in love and there's Mr M getting more and more distant from me. I couldn't work out what was going on in his head - the man is as deep as the ocean!
The bombshell hit - 10 weeks after we moved in together, on a Saturday night with the Charlie and Woody tucked up in their new beds, he announced that he was moving out and going to give things with Cruella another try. (Insert me crumpling to the floor as my chest is ripped open and my heart is torn out).

So what did I do? I didn't shout, scream, plead, bad mouth her or him. I didn't try to make him feel bad about all the crap we had been through because of her or all the money I had shelled out for him, the boys and her. No, being me I decided to do the only thing I knew - I stood back and took it. In the 10 weeks we'd been together I'd always told him to go back to Cruella if he thought there was any chance he could save his marriage. I guess we all say things we don't really mean........
I cried as I packed his (my) bags, folding everything with such attention. I packed everything I had bought for him and Charlie and Woody. I packed his military medal collection that Cruella had sold & I had bought back.
He phoned Cruella the next morning and she collected the boys whilst he sorted the last of his packing - for a guy that had came with nothing, he was leaving with lots! With everything packed, I left the house and went to work - asking him to post the keys back through the letter box when he had done.

So that night I returned to an empty house (I've never lived alone so it was quite daunting) with a bottle of wine and I got hammered. The one thing that did me, was that he'd had it all planned - Cruella had turned up to collect the boys and was not surprised - they'd obviously sorted the arrangements out between them. And me?...... I spent the next few days feeling like a mug (a very drunk one at that).

*Bridget Jones* eat your heart out!

The woman has no scruples!

Catch up with this and then I'll tell you more.

So Cruella thinks (this month) that I should have no part to play in the boys' lives - other than babysit for them now and again. He went away last weekend and wont be home until next weekend, so we were preparing ourselves for battle.
Any other time when he has gone away we have always given the boys the option of coming to stay with me, or spend extra days with their mum. This time we did exactly the same - why should we be any different just because she acts so vile? We asked the boys several weeks ago what they wanted to do & the boys both said they still wanted to come here so we left it there & informed Cruella.
You can imagine the response - over her dead body (if only wishes came true!!)
She kicked up such a stink that we were ready for a scene last weekend when we went to collect the boys... and this is what we were greeted with:

Him: have the boys got everything they need for school?

Cruella: I thought you were away this weekend?

Him: I go tomorrow, have the boys got everything?

Cruella: When do you get back?

Him: I'll be away for two weeks, have the boys got everything?

Cruella: If you're away, what's happening next wekend?

Him: The boys said they still want to come - is there a problem with that?

Cruella: No, I was just making sure they were still going to yours- I'm on nights.

So, here we were preparing to fight her tooth and nail when we had nothing to worry about - the woman has no scruples!!!

Oh and the eldest had left his blazer and the youngest had left his coat - if only she had been more interested in the boys......

Way Back When.....Part 4

Try catching up with this, this and this. Sorted?

We spend the rest of January and the early weeks of February having two great days every week - taking the boys to the seaside, in-door play area, parks etc. The other five days we work like mad on the house and still find the time to go to work 38 hours a week. We accept Cruella's demands and the night before pay day she phones just to remind him she wants £400 in cash the next morning - if he's a good boy he may catch a glimpse of his boys for the 3rd time that week!
All in all, life isn't perfect but I can honestly say we were happily getting to know each other and by the 2nd week in February we had central heating and the house was almost furnished (not decorated, but furnished was good). Would you believe it if I told you Cruella moved the goalposts again - I know shocker!!
On the Friday of the second week in February He drove to the supermarket car park to collect the boys for the day as planned. However after he had the boys in their car seats (which we'd had to buy as Cruella refused to loan the ones from his car that she was using) she informed him that she would collect them on Sunday evening - WTF??? With this she got back in the car and drove away (into the sunset never to been seen again - sorry wishful thinking there), leaving Him with two little boys and nothing more than the clothes they had on!
Luckily it was early Friday morning, so we were able to find a shop that would deliver two beds and bedding that day and I had money to go and buy clothes, PJ's, toys and everything else two little boys would need for a whole weekend.

We had a great weekend, the boys loved being with their Daddy and I'm sure I wasn't too much of a chore for them. It broke His heart to have to take them back to her on the Sunday, but his spirits were lifted when she informed him this would be a regular arrangement - every other weekend and two days per week. Had she had a change of heart? Did she now see that her marriage had been over long before He had left? Was she showing that she could be reasonable and civil for the sake of the children and putting them first?

No - she had a new boyfriend and wanted some free time!

The school uniform battle continues

Forgive me if this post is off on a tangent - I just need to get it out there and off my chest.
Over the years we have had a constant battle with Cruella regarding the boys' school uniform. Basically we buy it and she keeps it, so we buy more and ... she keeps it, so we buy more - do you get the picture?
I thought we'd put an end to all that last September, when we bought double uniform for both boys and sent a set with them to Cruella's. The instructions were clear - she needed to send a full set each weekend, which we would send them to school in each Wednesday (we take them to school and she collects them on Wednesdays). We are now 4 weeks into the school term and I am almost at boiling point - I sent both boys to school today in the last whole uniform we had. When you consider they had 4 sets each and only go to school from here Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays! So Cruella is up to her old tricks again :-
Weeks 1 - She sent no uniform at all
Week 2 - No shirts or jumpers and trousers aged 8-9 yrs that ended mid shin on both boys (I put them straight in the recycle bin)
Week 3 - Two shirts (yippee), No jumpers and trousers that fit both him and me, yes they were a little on the large side!
Week 4 - Stained shirts (off white), no jumpers and the same huge trousers I returned to her the week before!

What does a girl do? Don a balaclava and sneak into her house to steal the stuff back? No, I'm going to spend my day off shopping for school uniforms, then evening labelling them. Why? Because what else can I do?

When I say I feel fine..

I had a consultant appointment today to follow up my recent health problems. Over the summer I was diagnosed with Erythema Nodosum (EN) and Urticaria Pigmentosa (mastocytosis). I had three months of pain and worry - especially when bone marrow biopsies were mentioned and I was instructed to stop breastfeeding Dora in preparation for treatment!
Thankfully the mast cell tumors are limited to the outer layers of my skin, have not spread to any internal organs and are benign. The EN is in remission and may stay this way forever (fingers crossed). On the down side, the fatigue I have been experiencing could be with me for up to a year or even longer as a result of the EN and I have been diagnosed with Sarcoidosis (my need to Google is great) and have been referred back to my Rheumatology consultant for a suspected auto immune disorder (I have no idea which).

So when I say I feel fine, that's exactly what I mean. I don't feel great, but I don't feel anywhere near as bad as I did over the summer. Oh and did I tell you that I have to avoid stress and stressful situations as it can trigger the outbreaks of EN and Mastocytosis!!!!

Way back when....Part 3

If you've just stumbled upon my blog then you may want to check out this and this first.
Ok, all up to speed? Then I'll begin where I left off.
So we have moved into a derelict house, in the middle of winter with no heating, electrical appliances or furniture. We did have a toilet and (cold) running water so not much to complain about. We spent the first days and weeks just trying to get to know each other. We enjoyed romantic meals out (we had no choice as we had no cooker or fridge/freezer), I inducted him into the world of shopping - he needed clothes and essentials and he introduced me to.... (nudge, wink). We'd been work friends for a while, but had only shared one drunken kiss prior to living together - bizarre I know! Amazingly within those first few days I knew I had found my soul mate.
He was in contact with Cruella, who has quickly gotten over the shock that he had had enough of her games & upped and left her. Within 2 days of him leaving she had cleared out their home and the coal shed (beggars belief), sold or destroyed ALL of his belongings (hence the shopping trips) and had moved in with her parents.
He didn't get to see his boys for almost 3 weeks, and when Cruella finally did agree to let him see them it was a shock for us all. She met Him in the supermarket car park, handed over two very confused little boys (who were now 4 and 2) and a letter listing her demands:-

• He was to see the boys twice a week at her convenience
• He was to continue to pay the rent (£270 pcm) on the house for a further 3 months until the end of the lease
• He was to continue to pay the finance for his car (£220)- which she had and was keeping
• He was to pay all of their joint debt (Lord knows how much every month but the total was well over £37,000)
• He was to pay her £400 every month
• If he failed to agree to any of the above he would not get to see his boys.

So what did we do? We put the boys first and worked our buts off to meet her demands. We got to spend two days a week with the boys and I was introduced to the joys of being a mum. You can't put a price on that!

We continued to live in a derelict house, in the middle of winter, with no furniture or heating - but who cared?

My need for free therapy

This week has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life. Cruella has loaded her weapon of choice - the poison tongue - and has come out firing on automatic. Ordinarily I would be able to stand there & take her abuse, safe in the knowledge that my husband and children love and respect me. This time it was different, this time she got a full blown heart shot, this time I stayed down & couldn't get back up.

Over the last 8 years Cruella has shown little or no interest in her children (other than as a source of income, but we'll get to that at some point), she has been 'happy' for me to take on the 'mother' role. This week she has reclaimed what is rightfully hers. You see, Cruella carried the boys for 9 months and then gave birth to them - this leaves her holding the Ace card and boy has she decided to play it!
Cruella has for the 1st time taken legal advice (or so she says - she's probably been watching *Jeremy Kyle*) and now has it stuck in her head that she has parental rights (yes it's taken her 8 years to realise this) and I have nothing. I'll repeat that, I have no rights at all. She now wants to be more involved in the boys' lives, she wants to make the decisions and yes you guessed it, she wants me out!
So as it stands.... I have been warned - by the psycho bitch from hell with a very vicious tongue - that I am to have no contact with either boys' school or have any input into their homework. She is changing their GP and I am not to have any contact with the new surgery. From now on I am only to baby sit the boys when He is not in the house, I am not to discipline them or praise them. I am not to hold them when they are unwell or upset or endear myself to them in any way. I am to distance myself from them so that she can have a fair shot at being their mum, without my influence. After all, she is their mother and I am nothing!

With a broken heart I look forward to the boys arriving on Sunday. I have no idea what, if anything, she will have told the boys, but if she stays true to form I can guess that it won't be anything an 11 or 10 year old can repeat. What am I going to do... how can I bow down to her demands? I can't suddenly stop being who I am, I can't suddenly stop loving who I love. Just like she can't stop being a selfish and destructive individual - I can't stop being a mum to MY boys.

If Cruella wanted a fight then she's going to get one. I'm going to nurse my broken heart with a few bottles of wine, quality time with my husband and daughters, then we are going to load our weapon of choice and let her have both barrels. We are going to do the only thing we know we can do. We are going to protect our beautiful children from her ugliness and spend a huge amount on the best legal team we can get. I might not have any rights at the moment, but we are going to change that, we are going to apply for me to have full parental rights for both boys. We know Cruella will oppose this, but the advice we have been given is that she will be wasting her time. If she didn't want me in their lives, she should not have dumped them on my door step with no more than the clothes they stood up in!

Bring it on Bitch!

For my dear friend Jenn

I would like to tell you about my Dear Friend Jenn. I think of her as one of my closest friends - yet we have never spoken to or met one another. Jenn is one of the strongest, determined and honest ladies I know.
Jenn - I am so sorry I can't find the right words to take your pain away or I can't reach over & give you the huge hug I want to give you. I'm sorry I can't pop over & fill your freezer with meals that you can just pop in the oven & not worry about, but most of all I'm sorry that I live thousands of miles away and I will probably never get the chance to tell you all this in person. If you are reading this Jenn, I just want you to know that I am praying for you and I will be here with you all the way.
Love Me x

Way back when.... Part 2

So where did I get to?
During our 1st night together - no we didn't notice the house was freezing, filthy or totally empty - I realised that I actually quite (really) liked Him and perhaps this was a twist of fate that could turn out OK. Little did I know that not everyone was listening to the sweetest music playing, or seeing the most amazing fireworks.... sorry I'm in that movie again!!
In the cold light of morning The enormity of what He had done really hit home. He had left his wife (really grudge using that term on such a cold hearted, selfish and spiteful bitch of a woman) and two very young children for me. So no pressure then? We talked most of the day and it was clear that he had made his decision and regardless of my reaction, he was not going to return to life as he had known it. Me, I thought 'Why the hell not give it a go?' - I mean he is sexy as hell and I was available so what did I have to loose? (I later discovered this would include my sanity, savings and job).
our 1st few days together were spent shopping to buy essentials for 'our' new home. I'd been living with my parents for 6 months so I also had to break it to them that I was/had moved out - I felt like a teenager again! For a few days I didn't even think about Cruella or the two boys (although I don't think they were ever far from His thoughts). She wouldn't answer His calls and he didn't get to see the boys. He was sure it would just be for a few days, until she calmed down...... little did we know!

2nd wives club

Please congratulate me - I've just joined the British Second Wives Club! I can't believe there are so many women out there that put up with the garbage I get from Cruella (and worse). It wouldn't be my 1st choice of club... I'd rather be in the 'I won £20 million and stay at home all day' club... but I can honestly say it's a huge comfort and major eye opener!
If you are in a similar situation to me then check out this.

Way back when...

So where did it all begin? Let me take you back to July 2000, when I'd just left my first husband after 10 years (3 married). I was working in a hospital for detained offenders and had developed a great friendship with Him (my now husband). He was married to Cruella and the boys were just 3 and 1 yrs. Fast forward to December 2000.... We were on a staff night out and shared a very drunken kiss. It's not my style to kiss married men and I'm not proud of my actions, but put into perspective (it's not the time or place to discuss the complexities of his marriage to Cruella, but lets just say happy families they were not) I am not a home wrecker!
So hit the fast forward button.. not too much.. to January 2001. I get a telephone call from Him asking me to go and pick him up from work. Intrigued I drove to 25 miles and found him stood in the shadows with a ruck sack and a look on his face that I will never forget. As he gets into the car he tells me to drive - anywhere! This is when the bomb shell hit, he had officially ended things with Cruella (I say officially as she had been messing him around for a while). I don't think it helped when he told her he was in love with someone else. Boy did he take a giant risk - one drunken kiss and he was in love with me!
We drove around for a while, mostly with me just swearing at Him asking him what the F he had done.
Many hours later we decided to go to my new (derelict) house and stay there for the night. On the films things always look better in the morning don't they? So here we are, the middle of winter in a derelict house with no heating or furniture - and that's the way it stayed (for a while). The rest, as they say, is history!

And the brown stuff hits the fan again - take cover!

So Cruella has decided that I am no parent legally or otherwise to HER two boys. In her words I am no more than an adult left in charge by someone who has parental rights! Ok which legal web site has she swallowed?

It looks like it's all starting again. The status quo has been rocked and Cruella is on the war path. Open the brollies as the brown stuff is sure to fly in my direction!

Perhaps I should go back & start somewhere near the beginning!